Assemble Magazine - August Edition

Ask The Avengers

Matt: Today's question is: Clint, how come you do-

Tony pushes him away.

Tony: NO! Wrong Avengers!

Peter, Wade, Jessica, and a lot of other people leave depressed.

Peter frowns at Wade.

Peter: Since when were you ever part of the Avengers?...

Wade: A guy can dream, ya know! I was part of a lot of teams, I'll bet the Avengers weren't good enough for me and I'm just to-

Tony pushes Wade to go faster.

Tony: NO TALKING IN THE AVENGERS TOWER!!

Wade sniffles a little as he leaves.

Tony looks back into the tower and goes to their Super Secret Awesome Room of Awesome Secret Stuff and Cookies. Otherwise known as SSASSC.

Tony: So today's first question goes to Clint cause we all wanna know. Why can't you build up enough {CENSORSHIP!!!} courage to ask out Natasha?

Clint blushes and Wade peeks through the window, but Bruce closes the blinds so he can't see the Super Secret meeting of Secretness.

Clint: Uh...

Tony: Well then, you don't have to answer ya little woosie!

Clint: BECAUSE I WANT TO DO IT OVER LOOKING THE GORGEOUS RUSSIAN LANDSCAPE AS WE EAT HER FAVORITE FOOD!

Tony: What is her favorite food?

Clint blushes more.

Clint: That's why I can't ask her out yet, I don't know...

Thor leans over to whisper to Clint.

Thor: Poptarts.

Tony: Wow... you're such a ladies man, Clint...

Tony turns evilly to Steve.

Tony: More relationship questions!

Steve gulps.

Tony: Steve, how come you can't get a girl?

Steve: I will never love a woman as much as I love Peggy!!!!

Tony: You know, I can hook you up with this girl from Vanity Fair. She's a real... sweatheart...

Steve: No, that's okay...

Tony turns away from Steve and back to Bruce.

Tony: Can I tell you something?

Bruce: Sure, make it quick.

Tony: BROOOOOOMMMAAAANNNNNNNNCCCCEEEE!! I LOOVE YOU IN THE MOST-

Bruce glares at Tony.

Bruce: Not at work, Tony.

Tony gulps.

Tony: Um, so ah, Nat, do you like birds?

Natasha: Yeah, they make good targets for shooting practice.

Natasha evilly smirks at Clint.

Clint mouths: I love you~

Natasha rolls her eyes.

Tony: Okay then... Bruce!

Bruce: Seriously? Are you gonna do something weird again?

Tony: No, I just need to know what you'd do if you'd Hulk out if I beat you in checkers.

Bruce: The correct term would be "Get frusterated and freak out," but anyone could make that mistake, and I might although I think it would really depend on how you react to your victory towards me, because in all reality it happens all the time.

Tony pats Bruce's shoulder.

Tony: This is why we love you. Saying things that the asker probably doesn't understand...

Bruce sighes.

Tony turns to Thor.

Tony: And last, but not least, Thor will you give our asker a poptart?

Thor: NO! THE TINY MORTALS CAN FEND FOR THEMSELVES ON A NEVER ENDING QUEST TO FIND THE PASTRY SUBSTANANCE!!!!

Steve: O.o Okay then...

Wade peeks in one more time, but Thor throws a poptart at the window.

Thor: GO AWAY MINOR CHARACTER!!

Hope you likeded~

THANKS FOR ASKING QUESTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!