Rebel Grier

Diary

*Alys POV*

"This is for Aly. Why are you here? No one even likes you and you're just an fugly slut" the girl in the audience asked.

I took a mic about to blow up on this slut because wow that actually really hurt.

"If you hate me so much why did you come to the show because this must be torture for you huh? Sorry I'm not pretty enough for you but at least I don't smash a fucking cake on my face every morning like some other people" I said staring right at her.

"And do you really think it's news to me that no one likes me? Because it's not. And honestly I don't know why I'm here. Thanks for bringing that to my attention" With that I got up to leave the stage but someone grabbed my arm. I yanked it away and kept walking.

I got to the front entrance and a bunch of girls were still there that didn't have tickets I'm guessing. One girl came up to me.

"Hey are you okay. The show isn't done is it?" She asked worried.

"No it's not but I am. Here you can have this thanks for caring" I took off my backstage pass and gave it to her.

Next thing I did was take out my phone to text Hayes.

To: bestie
hey don't worry about me I'm fine just wanted to leave. But I gave my backstage pass to a girl that didn't have a ticket so don't be alarmed and tell the guys.

From: bestie
okay. just remember nothing she said was true and we all love you. see you soon.

"Okay they should let you in and I told the guys so they wouldn't flip. Have fun. I have to go" I told her and walked away.

"Thakyou! Stay strong!" She called after me.

I called a taxi to take me back to the hotel and it wasn't that long of a drive. Once I got to my hotel room I sat down on the bed and thought about everything the girl said. Next thing I knew I was balling my eyes out.

I'm usually not this emotional but I took those things to heart. Something you might not know about me is that I had depression when Nash and Hayes were gone. Also I got raped while I'm telling you everything.

So yeah that's why I believed the girl when she called me a slut. I mean how can I not be when I'm 17 and already lost my virginity. Only my mom, the crew, and officer parker know. (I don't actually mean that. It's just what she thinks. It's not your fault if you lost your virginity to being raped. And I'm sorry if that happened to you)

That's what Jax was trying to tell Nash about for why I turned into a rebel. I figured it would just be easier and it was.

I went to my suit case and dug to the bottom pulling out my diary. I know it's dumb but it makes things easier for me to write down everything I'm feeling.

May 10, 2016 (pretend bc I didn't want 2015 or winter)

Dear diary,

Today I was called a fugly slut that nobody likes. And it's true. I mean how could some one like me because I sure as hell don't. I look like a horse and probably weigh about as much as one too. Plus I'm a slut. I mean seriously I'm 17 and already lost my virginity. I know it wasn't my fault but there had to have been something else I could do. I will write more later I have to go for now.

The show was probably over by now and I didn't want to be here when everyone got back. I put my diary away and went to the elevator clicking the highest floor.

Once it stopped I got out and had to climb another set of stairs to get to the roof. I opened the door and saw a ledge overlooking the city.

What a peaceful way to die. Flying through the air. Taking in the beautiful sight one last time.