"I believe actions, not words."
"Was that your attempt to be serious?"
"I am serious!"
"No, you're not. You're making cookies. You don't make cookies when you're serious."
"I'm making cookies because I'm hungry!" Calum's thick eyebrow raised in amusement, but you were far from it. "And because I'm serious."
"Come on, it's wasn't anything serious. We hung out for a bit."
"After you promised me you weren't going to."
The situation is all wrong. You're making cookies, and he's eagerly waiting for them by sitting at counter with a glass of milk ready, but your words are scathing at the thought of him and his ex-girlfriend.
Normally you didn't care about this stuff. The past was the past right? But it wasn't the past when they continued to talk and hang out like buddies - which you knew she had no interest in being.
The first time he came home late and drunk, admitting he'd spent the night clubbing with her and the boys. You'd let it slide, because he was your boyfriend and the boys wouldn't let anything happen to him.
It was the second time when you saw his post on Twitter about her that got you a bit nervous, but you tried to brush it off because you'd only been dating for a few months.
Then, after she constantly seemed to be wherever he was, you'd politely asked him to stop hanging out with her. She made you uncomfortable, and no matter how many times Calum assured you they were just friends, you couldn't shake the twisting in your gut whenever you saw them hanging out.
It certainly didn't seem like they were "just friends" and the media was picking up on it too, letting rumors and gossip fly. At that point, Calum said he'd stop talking to her, but now seeing hundreds of fans cue you in on a picture that was taken just a week ago at a club with her on his lap, you became angry.
And being angry inevitably led you to being hungry, and since you'd put off grocery shopping, the only thing left in your freezer was a roll of pre-made cookie dough.
You continued to mash the dough into a ball, placing it on the baking sheet as you continued.
"I told you she made me uncomfortable, and while I understand that you guys are friends," you nearly spat the word, "I feel like you don't get that I'm your girlfriend and not her."
"I do get that!"
"It doesn't seem like it!" You almost threw down the last cookie dough ball in frustration. He always said this. He always said he understood, he didn't need to be told twice, he was an adult... but time and time again you were proved wrong.
"Look, I didn't plan on hanging out with her. We bumped into each other at the club - you can't blame me for that." You can see he's doing his best to be placating, but a petty thought rises to mind.
"You could've ignored her." You muttered, opening the warm oven and slipping in the last rack.
Calum sighs at this, honestly not getting what the big deal was. He'd done what you asked, and still you weren't happy.
"So you want me to outright ignore someone? Is that it?" He'd said it jokingly with a disbelieving grin, but when you didn't answer it faded. "Seriously? We were together for a long time, friends for years before that. I can't just ignore her."
You huffed and crossed your arms, not knowing how to convey that it was just plain wrong. The feelings of insecurity were something you were trying to contain, but there was something about the way they "hung out" that made you lash out.
"Don't you trust me?" Calum asked, brown eyes turning almost hurt as he witnessed your internal struggle.
"It's not that," you answered vaguely, "I just don't trust her."
He didn't seem to have a comment on this, leaving you to stew in your own thoughts. You didn't want to be the judge-y girlfriend, the bitch that controlled who he could and couldn't see, but when the words came out you certainly felt like it. It didn't help that Calum ended up still hanging around her.
He moved around the counter, wrapping his arms around you as he rested his chin on your shoulder while you stood, waiting for the cookies to be done.
"I'm sorry this is upsetting you so much," he started off lowly. "But I'll make it stop. I won't talk to her, I won't hang out with her, and I'll ignore her if we're at the same place. Okay?"
The words were said genuinely enough, but they were all to similar to what he'd said before, and look what happened.
When you didn't answer immediately, he hugged you tighter. "Hey. I love you."
You knew he was waiting to hear it back, and for you to say that you've forgiven him and all is right in the world. You could only manage part of it.
"Love you too."
The bad feeling in your stomach didn't go away.
this is not mine its from tumblr
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