Unknown (on hold)

FIVE. WHAT IS A GIRL?

I was back in the bedroom waiting for Lukas to come back but too nervous to go venturing out to find him. I sat feet up, arms around my legs, curled into myself on the chair he'd sat me on earlier. My hair hung loose and knotted dripping down my shoulders and back. I had finger combed it as best as I could with no comb. I thought of searching for one but didn't want to invade Lukas's privacy. My head lulled onto the pillow at the back of the chair and my eyes drooped as I waited.

"Wake up." Lukas shook my shoulder trying to rouse me. I had fallen asleep, head resting on my knees. My neck ached from the awkward position. I rubbed my eyes trying to rouse myself and looked up at lukas blinking my eyes as I woke fully up. His head jerked back shocking me. I went to touch my face probing to feel what I couldn't see. A big cut or bruising probably. I tried to move my head down but he put his fingers under my chin and tilted it back up. He moved closer staring at me intently looking lost and confused. He was breathing hard.

"Lukas?" I said quietly, nervous. Was something wrong? He shook his head as if to clear it and coughed looking away. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to one of the walls and then pulled down a bed that had been hidden in the wall. Huh. He took out bed sheets and stated to put them on the bed and after a second hesitation I went to help pulling edges tight. We placed on the cover and he tossed some pillows to the top.

"I'll find you your own bed later." He grunted at me. I bit my lip realising he was saying we would share the bed tonight at least. I was too worn out to argue though and crawled up the bed and got under the covers. I expected him to get in but it was silent. I turned to look at him and he was just standing there looking at me head tilted to the side again. I got nervous and turned around away from him so I could hide my face cheeks heating yet again. A second later I heard clothes moving and then he slipped into the bed. We lay there in silence for a while but I know neither of us was asleep.

"How come your so skinny?" He said randomly. I didn't know if this was him being mean again or not but wasn't sure how to answer. Trying to lighten the mood, which had somehow gotten thick and awkward.

"I don't know. Always been this way. "I tried for a jokey reply laughing a little and I shoved at his arm. "Anyway it's not skinny your meant to say I'm slim and toned or something, you ass." It worked I think cause I heard his quiet chuckle and he pushed my head into the pillow. I grinned but didn't turn around not wanting to ruin the moment. Soon after I heard his breathing deepen in sleep and soon I drifted too.

I had snuggled into warmth next to me, which radiated heat. I felt cosy and happy still in that half asleep haze. I stretched out and then moved back to my warmth rubbing my cheek on it to get comfortable again. It was then I realised the warmth was a body. A very still body ,which seemed to be locked up ridged. It was Lukas I realised and slowly shifted back. Looking up at his eyes, raw with hunger.

"Why do you smell so good? Why is your chest is swollen?" he croaked out huskily. Only moving his head the rest of his body still motionless. "What are you?"

"Swollen?" I asked touching my chest just above my breast rubbing. He watched me eyes scotching me.

"Lower." He whispered looking so lost. I looked down party to escape his eyes and moved my hand to my breast. "There." He confirmed. "What is wrong with you?" he started sounding worried for me somehow and reached out with his own hand touching. I moved back sucking in air. He yanked his arm back. "Sorry. Does it hurt?" he asked actually sounding apologetic and getting more upset by the second. I was confused and getting a little freaked out. Was this some line? He seemed so upset.

"I don't understand." I said slowly. "Is this a joke?" His face turned into a grimace at my words.

"Has it always been like that?" Lukas questioned his voice taking on a soothingly quality as if giving bad news. "Look." He took my hand careful not to touch anywhere else and pressed my palm against his chest, pushing down hard. His firm muscled under my hand made me blush, again. This had to be a joke. "See? It's meant to be flat and hard." He told me as if explaining.

"No." I said angry and perplexed.

"Yes." He was firm wanting me to except. "This is what it is meant to be like. Yours is swollen. Different from mine." He tried again speaking as if I was a child.

"What's wrong with you?" I exclaimed really frustrated now. This had to be some perverted move to catch a feel. I couldn't believe it. "After everything I went through you are making deviant jokes!" My voice raising as I spoke, tears filling my eyes. "Of course they are different! I'm a girl!" He was silent. Good.

"Girl? What's that?" He asked me quietly, I guessed to stop me from breaking down even more.

"Ha. Ha. You're very funny. I'm. A. Girl." I was upset and sad but answered anyway. Why was he doing this? I had thought of him as a friend. "Boy." I pointed at him. "Girl." I pointed at myself. "Man, Woman. Male, Female" I said indicating again back and forth. He still looked confused. One eye squinted as if tying to understand. His eyes dropped back to my chest and he reached out again to my breast and I slapped his hand away.

"You said it didn't hurt!" He exclaimed shocked I had stopped him. "I just want to feel it." He sniffed at me yet again and then reached for my arm slowly this time looking at my face asking silently if it was ok. I sighed deeply lifting my arm to him allowing him to hold on, at least was stopping trying to grope me. He squeezed my arm gently and then held the lower part with one hand while the other stroked up and down. "You are very soft." His lips twitched. "Are you Human? Some primitive life form from man?" His words were insulting but asked in the tone of a curious child. Wasn't he taking this too far? I took a deep breath and played along. 

I was confused as hell but this was too weird to argue with.