Harry Potter Randomness

Everything I HATE About HP Fanfics

~Why does everyone love strange love squares that would never happen in the books?

HARMIONE HINNY

ROMIONE HON

And then a random ship off to the side like Huna or Herminny.

~Harry is now obsessed with either Ginny or Ron. Apparently he loves his Weasleys.

Ron: Harry, can you go get me a-

Harry: *runs off to get whatever*

~Hermione never leaves the library. EVER.

Ron: Hermione, could you help us find this horcrux thing?

Hermione: Let's see... I'll be in the library from 9:00 to 5:00 for the rest of the week, can we work it in some time after midnight?

~Rulebreaker Hermione. Enough said.

~Ginny is now the official leader of the Harry Potter fan club. I mean, it's not like she's over him or anything pshh.

Ginny: Okay girls, are you ready to hear this month's report?

Lavender: Yes

Parvati: Merlin yes!

Romilda: Harry ate Cheerios this morning.

Ginny: With the silver spoon? Or the gold one we gifted him?

Lavender: The gold.

Ginny: Good deal.

~The Room of Requirement is now a bathroom.

~ Guys faun over Ginny. Literally. Either that or she somehow becomes the most unappealing girl ever and can't even land a date with Neville.

~Ron eats everything. Even Hermione's books apparently.

~The Grey Lady is now free to give advice to passing Gryffindors

~Hufflepuffs are now extinct

~NO ONE IS GAY

~Shallow, heart breaking backgrounds for all the OC's! Can't at least ONE be loved by their parents?

~James is apparently the Maurader equivalent of Voldemort, because he be harming ALL the classmates.

~Harry's youngest son is now named Emerald?

~Ron hates his family apparently?

~Oh, there goes Ginny, shoving another boy in a broom closet.

~Evil!Ginny AU's? Okay. So all this time, Ginny's actually been Voldemort's spy and she's out to kill Harry? Huh. That's strange. The last thing I remember was she reformed the DA to FIGHT Voldemort, not aide him.

~Ginny has a twin that's more loved than her. AND SHE NEVER RUNS AWAY EVEN THOUGH SHES ABUSED BY HER FAMILY?!?! Well okay then.

~The Weasley's be dirt poor apparently

Molly: Oh, Harry, you want an extra spoon full of soup? Well, Ron, you'll have to go without your usual three ounces of beans because Harry needs to eat more.

They can pay for stuff, guys, they're not completely in poverty. They just aren't as rich as other pure blood families because there are so many of them.

~Harry turned angst into a verb, because he be angsting everywhere ALL THE TIME even though it was only really for one book that he was like that.

~Every girl at Hogwarts fancies Harry and wants to pull him in a closet. Okay, first of all, Harry wouldn't pay them a minute of attention because he has more to do than worry about them, and he wouldn't be plotting how to get in their pants. That cleared up now?

~Fred is somehow alive

~George is suicidal even if Fred's alive again.

~George gets Angelina pregnant within a week of their marriage.

~Hon. Hon in general.

~OC Charlie Weasley's daughter is named after some dragon or Ginny. Can't be anything else.

~Slytherin's be hatin

~All Hufflepuffs (that are actually there) are sweet, innocent hippies that probably do some kinky stuff in the prefects bathroom.

~Ravenclaws are grammar nazi's

Harry: We've got to hurry! The big snakes gonna kill us!

Ravenclaw: *pops up out of no where* ahem, THE SNAKE IS GOING TO KILL US.

Harry:wth

~If not a Ravenclaw, it's Hermione. Whose apparently the grammar nazi general.

~Authors who put themselves in stories when it's not necessary, blatantly say it's them, and make the people OP. I mean, I understand the characters being based off of you, but not them actually going by your username and you telling everyone that they are you. If it's ABSOLUTELY necessary, I understand. But not making  them OP

~Either there are NO gays or HOGWARTS IS GAY. ALL OF HOGWARTS IS GETTIN KINKY WITH DUMBLEDORE UP IN THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT.

~Hogwarts becoming an actual person. Oh, and Harry is Hogwarts's son, just so you know. Uhm, Lily? May we have a word as to HOW EXACTLY THIS HAPPENED?!?!

~Hermione is either Harry's girlfriend, unliked friend, or his secret sister. No in-between.

~We're constantly reminded of their British accents.

"'Let's go to the lake' Harry suggested, his accent making the sentence sound suggestive.
'Sure.' Ron agreed, the 'r' almost becoming silent as he spoke. The boy winked at Harry and the two went off to make out somewhere."

Come on

~Bill Weasley no longer exists

~Double weddings for everyone

~George commits suicide or tries to commit suicide and everybody disowns him except for Ginny because apparently she's the only sane person.

~Ginny hooks up with Draco and doesn't tell Harry because she's afraid he'll hate her.

~Fred and George be up in each other's space like TWINCEST ALL AROUND.

~No classes. Everyone has six free periods and the only class is lunch. They also have all the same classes at the same time. Even Ginny and Luna are with Harry and Ron and Hermione, making patronuses in DADA, which is their only real class.

And, now my rant is over. Wow, that felt good.