Irresistible

Chapter 17: On a sheet of paper

**Recap Zayn’s Pov**

I quietly opened that door, and luckily she was sleeping. I walked closer to the bed. And my heart broke into a million pieces. She was tightly holding onto the blanket she was laying on top off instead of laying underneath it.

Dried tears were sticking onto her cheek, leaving a small trail from her eyes to her chin. Did she cry? Was it because of me?

I sighed and kissed the top of her head gently, I grabbed another blanket and laid it on top of her, I tugged her in and I left the room. I don’t deserve her. I will never be able to trait her good enough.

She deserves so much more!

More than I can give her.

Zayn’s Pov

I plopped myself down on one of the seats that were situated around a small table in front of the TV which hung on the wall. I sighed. Sometimes I don’t get why we always get these expensive rooms but whatever, that was not something I want to think about right now.

 I wanted to tell Zoe so badly how I felt about her. But I couldn’t. every time I want to tell her I sort of freeze or something. I don’t know what words to use. I just stand there like an idiot and hurt her by just walking away. It just seems impossible to explain my feelings to her.

I sighed. I got back up from where I was seated and went to grab a pen and paper. Even though I had no inspiration to write a song or even a sentence, I could at least try it.

Once I had found a paper and a pen I sat back down, placing the paper on the small table in front of me and silence filled the room. I just sat there, staring at the sheet of paper in front of me while ticking the pen against my  lips.

A minute seemed to take hours to pass. And then there was that stupid, annoying clock, ticking and ticking and ticking…and ticking. Indicating me that I was getting nowhere with this.

Things were entering my brain, but it weren’t the thing I wanted to think about right now, things that weren’t as important. Things like Lore and her friend, which I had called off for Zoe before I would forget about that.

I shook my head, trying to focus back on the sheet of paper which was still empty. I groaned in frustration. This was getting me nowhere!

I got up from the seat and decided that it would maybe help if I just walked around for a bit, just around the room and such. I picked up the empty paper and started walking around the room. Walking around the couches in circles over and over again.

After a while I noticed my thought were getting distracted from the paper and it was as if I came into a whole other world.

Memories from how Zoe and I met struggled their way into my thoughts and overpowered the rest of my brain.

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I had just closed the door of my dressing room and I walked back towards her and gave her a small smile, which told that I was happy that she was here.

"hi, how are you?" I asked looking in her beautiful, stunning eyes which I hadn’t noticed earlier.

"I-euhm" I laughed a little, I don’t know why I actually laughed but I thought I was cute how she stuttered. No zayn! Bad zayn! Don’t laugh with people who are nervous because of you!

"sorry, you probably wonder why you're here?" I asked still smiling.

"I-I a-actually am wondering why I am here, b-but that’s n-not my biggest c-concern" she stuttered while she stared at the ground. I mentally groaned. I wanted to see her beautiful eyes again.