Of Strawberries and Gum

If Only...

".... For better and for worse, for sickness and in health?" asks the pastor

Marshall's eyes twinkle and a smile tugs at his lips, "I do." He says looking at his soul mate, his other half.

"You many now kiss the bride."

Marshall pulls off the veal and I watch as he leans in and kisses his now bride. The hall erupts in cheers and happiness, Fiona jumps up and down in her seat unable to contain her excitement and I quietly clap in my spot. I was standing beside Marshall, I'm his best man.

At the reception hall the bride and the groom cut their wedding cake which was especially baked by yours truly. The guests fawn over the newlyweds taking pictures and expressing their happiness. When the dance starts everyone jumps up to catch their partner for a dance, Marshall and his girl hurry to the dance floor. They are followed closely by Fiona and FP, Cake and Lord Monochromocorn, and Tree Trunks and Mr. P. I sit on the round table, watching them dance and trying not to sulk. It was Marshall's wedding, he's my best friend. I loved Marshall, I loved him for more than five years the time period it took those two newlywed to know each other and tie the knot. I want to be the one standing beside him right now, I want to be the one he says 'I do' to. But it's not me, it's another girl he met at college. It's another girl who ensnared his heart while I have been dilly-dallying.

I pick on the cake on my plate when Fiona approaches me, she sits beside me and smiles quietly,

"How're you doing?" she asks, pity in her eyes

"I'm fine, Fiona." I say forcing a smile and trying to pretend this wedding did not bother me

"I'm so sorry this happened.." she chokes putting her hand on my forearm for support

"Please. Don't cry. This is not your fault Fi, if it's anyone's fault its mine." I look at her sad smile and touch her cheek, "It's Marshall's big day, you should be smiling."

"Oh Gumball." She cries wrapping her arms around me, "I promise you, you will get your happy ending. One day, you'll meet a guy who's going to sweep you off your feet."

"Thanks Fifi." I say softly, then pry her arms from me and say putting on a big smile, "Go dance! Your boyfriend is waiting for you."

I sigh heavily once she leaves, and continue watching the couples dance in envy. Marshall and I have been together ever since middle school, when he moved in. We despised each other at first but slowly after Marshall's horrible break up with Ashley, we grew closer. I guess that's when I started to fall in love with him. I kept on denying these feelings for a long time, pushing them down, ignoring and avoiding them at all costs. And this is where it had lead me and I have no right to complain.

I look at me watch wondering how long this reception is going to take. Staying her and watching my crush make out with another person hurts a lot more than I thought. I really want to leave, go back to my lonely apartment and cry silently in my room. Marshall notices me sitting alone and decides to come join me, I really didn't want his company at the moment but it was too late to say no when he occupies the seat left by Fiona.

"Why so blue, Bubba? It's my big night you should at least try to be happy for me." He teases

"I am happy for you Marsh; I just can't believe how far we've come." I say, it's not a lie but it's not the truth either.

"You're right." He says leaning back against the chair and watching the dance floor. "It feels like we were just in detention yesterday."

"Detention?" I ask confused

"Remember? That time where I dumped a whole bottle of water on you during lunch and that started one of the biggest fights we ever had. I remember you punching me so hard I got a bruise for two weeks." He chuckles lightly lost in the memories

I smile back too, remembering exactly what he was talking about. How could I forget such day, it was my first detention ever and I was quiet furious with Marshall. Also I was wearing very fine clothes and had just gelled my hair and that water ruined my whole appearance.

"That was the day I developed a crush on you." He suddenly states, so softly I hardly hear him

"C – crush ?" I stammer, "as in had feelings for me?"

"Well not at that time, but yes through out high school." He says, looking at me with an easy smile "I really liked you back then, I had it so bad."

Marshall had a crush on me. Marshall had a crush on me. Marshall had a crush on me. Its like the universe just want to make this harder and harder for me. Was this a stupid joke? Marshall? Had a crush on ME? Since when? How did I not notice that? Why didn't he say anything?

"What...what happened?" I ask him slowly and carefully, is this a dream?

"You happened, Bubbs. You gave mixed signals. I didn't know if you saw me as a friend or something more. But you made it clear one night; it was on our last year before graduating, we were at a party and I thought I should ask you out but you made it clear that you only saw us as friends and nothing more."

What? When did that happen? The party we went to on our last year was held by Fiona, it was some kind of a farewell party because she was going away for college. I remember getting very upset so I got drunk because I saw Marshall kissing some chick, but I don't remember Marshall asking me out. I don't remember rejecting him either. What in the world happened that night?

I grip my hands together trying to control my feelings. It's too late now. Marshall loved me once, but now the feelings are gone. I could tell him how I feel, if I tell him that I love him will he dump his bride and come to me? If I tell him that I have always loved him, if I apologize for the misunderstood rejection will he turn around and kiss me?

"Come on Lee, you promised to play us a song!" I look up and find his bride standing beside us and smiling fondly at her husband. Marshall smiles back at her and I fail to notice the twinkle in his eyes. He loves her. He really really loves her. And I don't have the heart to break them apart for my own selfish reasons. It's too late for me, far too late.

"Alright babe." Marshall gets up pats my back and leaves with her, I stare at them unable to control my feelings anymore. I could've had him; we could've been together. If I were more honest then maybe...just maybe... I would be standing beside him now. I get up and leave, I can't take it anymore. I can't stand seeing Marshall with her. It's too much for me. I exist the reception hall and keep walking fast not looking back once, Marshall deserves all the happiness in the world and I'll just ruin it by breaking down and crying. I feel my tears spilling down my cheeks and I wipe them away harshly, if only I told Marshall my feelings when I had the chance then we would have started dating, I could've been with him all the time, he would've proposed to me and then... and then it would be me standing by his side, it would be me he looks at with twinkles in his eyes... if only. I break down in the middle of the streets. I have been holding in my feeling for far too long my body could not handle it anymore.

I had Marshall in my grasp for too long but I just never noticed and now he's gone. He's gone for good and there is nothing I could do. I had my chance to make my move but I was too stubborn and now he's gone and it's too late for me.

A/N: Happy Valentines day!!!