Depression At It's Finest.

Haunting Memories

Damon's lips slowly turned into Tony's and I slipped into a memory. It was Valentine's Day and Tony had gotten me a rose, it was beautiful. We kissed of course and his hands slowly made their way up my back, just like Damon's right now. I pushed Damon away and he asked me what's wrong.
"I can't do it.", I said.
"Do what baby?".
" I can't think straight.".
What I wanted to say was that I could get Tony out of my head but that's just not something you tell your fiancé.
My mind is just buzzing with thousands of thoughts, thoughts that are painful. One of them is telling me that I can't do it anymore, that I should just run away from everything and everyone. This world is just to much for me to handle.
I think Damon got a bit angry but he brushed if off and went home. I guess he was mad because I wouldn't let him make his move. Now I'm just alone in a pitch black room full of nothing but silence, alone with my thoughts.

Then suddenly out of the dead silence, ding! My phone went off. Who would text at this time of night? I grabbed my phone and almost had a heart attack. Tony had text me. That was a name that hasn't popped up on my phone in a long time.

Tony: Hey Rena can we talk?

Rena was what Tony used to call me. he hadn't called me that in a very long time. I didn't know how to respond, should I ignore it? Should I say no? Should I actually talk to him? I wasn't sure what to do but I didn't want to seem weak. I didn't want him to know that I'm still hurting.

Me: Yeah, what's up?

I cross my fingers like a little girl making a wish. Please, please don't text back. I can't bare to talk to him. What could he possibly want from me? Then I heard it again ding!

Tony: I was just... I. I'm sorry about what I did to you way back. That was wrong and I've beat myself up about it ever since. Honestly today when I saw you with that guy I got really jealous, to see that you had gotten over me. Me and Jordan fought when we got home because I stopped to talk to you she's pissed.

He got jealous? No, no. He's gonna try to get me back. That is horrible! He knows that I couldn't say no to him even if I tried. He was my first love. I love Damon but I'll never love him like I loved Tony. I just turned off my phone, if I don't talk to him I can't fall back into his trap. I'm going to try to sleep. So then I took my nightly meds for my depression and anxiety and tried to dose off.

My dad walked in my room
"Hey baby girl, long time no see."." Dad? Is that you?!".
"Well yeah who else would it be?".
"Dad I haven't seen you in 7 years, where have you been?".
" Oh yeah that. Sorry I was busy with Kate.".
" Busy with Kate, the woman that you cheated on mom with... and your best excuse it that you were busy with Kate for 7 years of my life!!!"

BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP!

Ahhh!! Oh thank God it was a dream. I looked over at my clock. Crap it's 6:00 the bus will be here in 20 minuets! I hurried out of bed and into my cloths, pulled a brush through my hair and ran out of the door. Just as I got out there my bus drove on by I yelled and ran after it but I was to late. Wonderful. Oh no... after the bus was gone I heard the familiar sound of a truck. I turned around and it was him again... Tony.
"Hey! You need a lift?".
" Oh, no I'm fine."
CRACK! Just my luck, rain.
"You sure about that?"