I lay in bed with Amber hugging me from behind her arms wrapped around me to keepme safe and warm..
4:38 am, the clock read..
I barely got any sleep. Too many thoughts and too much disappointment clouding me. I invited Amber to say the night when we got home late, lying in bed in each other's arm. We didn't do anything, just cuddled, we didn't need anything else to end our romantic night. Just whispers of I love you and Happy Anniversary. I felt so bad that I could enjoy the perfect anniversary dinner Amber organised just because of my stupid expectations.
A sigh escaped my lips for the 1000 time. I gently lifted my girlfriend's arm and quietly slipped out of the bed without waking her. With a robe wrapped around me, I stepped out into the balcony of my bedroom and looked out over the city. This was my home, I leaned my arms on the rails and watched my breath come out in the puffs of white.
I should have known that Sulli and I were reading too much into things. It's just everything fit so perfect. The fidgeting, the dinner, the clothes even the romantic speech. So many times when my heart would swell thinking. This is it!!?!.. I'm going to be engaged to this beautiful woman!.. But every single time it would be my expectations dashed..
And it's wasn't fair..
A tear rolled down my cheek, if wasn't fair to me since I just hurt myself repeatedly on one of the best anniversaries we'd spent together and it wasn't fair for me to feel so hurt and disappointed when Amber had put so much though and love and care into planning it. Just.. I got excited and happy thinking of us in that way.. Engaged!?!
I wiped my tears away and watched the sun come up. The city buildings in silhouette against the dark blue as the sky slowly changed to orange.
I felt arms wrap around me. Amber looked at me sleepily from behind, a blanket wrapped around the two of us and her hands on either side of me in the rails. Her chin resting on the crook of my neck as the two of us stood together..
"Why are you up so early, princess?.."
"Just felt like it.."
She hummed in response.. "It's cold silly. You should've taken a blanket so you don't get sick..."
I just smiled and leaned back even more to rest against her. Even half-asleep my dork still only thought of me. I loved sleepy Amber, this one tends to lose her filter and blunt unpolished words would come out.
"See that?.." she pointed out towards the city.
"Yeah..?" I drawled out confuse.
"If I could wrap it up and give it to you. I would.." she smiled dreamily, eyes still half-closed.. "Just to shown even a small percent of how much you mean to me.."
"Huh? Wrap what up?.." I was getting beyond confused now, I loved this Amber but she didn't always make sense.
"The world! You mean the world to me!..." she giggled
"Hehe get it??.."
"Aish!! You're so embarrassing!.." my nose wrinkled at the sleepy but cheesy words. Even when only half-awake she still swept me off my feet. Her lips kissed my cheek for a long moment before she pulled back and looked at me. More awake now with the sun slowly lighting our faces.
"Lets stay like this forever, princess.."
"Yeah.." I breathed, together, I want this to be our forever too.
