Juliana's Diary

I hope you like thstory so far. Going out of town and wanted to make sure this was posted before I leave.

May 28, 2012

Dear Diary,

       I have a dress fitting today. The lady made the front of the dress too big and it made the dress fitting suck. Why can’t the boob fairy come and make me a little bit bigger not a lot bigger just two cups sizes would work. I really think the fairy missed me. I wear a padded bra so I looked bigger but my mom says I will grow soon.

       She told me that she didn’t grow till she was eighteen and she said like mother like daughter. Why can’t I get a boob job I have three friend that had it and there happy my parents said no. Why are boobs so important to guys?  

I looked over “One Boy” before I went to bed bit I’m still feeling too tired and Ben is still pissed at me. He still wants to have sex and I don’t. I didn’t want to go on a date tonight. I’m just too tired. I can’t keep playing hands off or I’ll lose him. I started thinking of Jake hugging me, then kissing me for real. I can feel the simplest meeting of lips, the softest of touches, and then Jake sweeps me off my feet.  What the hell is wrong with me? My mom quote for the day came from my pocket of my backpack where so she fined the time to do this… “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” by Mark Twain. I’m lost on this one. Too tired to think about it tonight

June 1, 2012

Dear Diary,

Ben said he was sorry and would give me time. I know he was a good guy after all. Had to work on “One Boy” today, I love this song, I feel like I’m singing to Ben. I can’t wait to sing it to him tonight. Ben and I are going to dinner after tomorrow is practice. Jake had to play Ben today because Ben had a dress fitting. This sucked.

This guy hates me but why do I want to kiss him. What’s wrong with me? Have I gone nuts or something? I started singing again and then I couldn’t breathe and everything went black. I woke up on the Drama class couch. Jake actually asked if I was ok. I looked up, jumped up and went down again. I would have hit the floor of Jake hadn’t caught me.

 Jake had the nerve to say “What are you doing, dieting before the play?” I wanted to hit him but how did he know I didn’t tell anyone that I was. It must have been a good guess. It’s nine and all I want to do is sleep. Mom was worried and brought up food for me. She left a quote with me food tonight… You have a very powerful mind that can make anything happen as long as you keep yourself centered. - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. In other words take care of yourself. My mom is funny at times, Talk to you tomorrow.

June 2, 2012

Dear Diary,

More practice, I think it’s getting to me. I’m so tired. This has never happened before. Maybe homework and practice is getting the best of me. I have to sing every song today and a lot of dancing and Ben was getting on my nerves. Why is he being a pain in the ass today?  I think I need some sleep. Mom just brought me a sandwich to eat. Mom always thought problems were fixed by food.

 Do all moms think they know it all?  I know they’re older and have been teenagers once but this is a different time and it harder on us. My mom thinks she is always right and I’m always wrong. I wish she would walk a day in my shoes and see how different it is. I stopped dieting because I think that’s the problem. I am going to start taking those energy drinks. I hope this helps me more. Mom quote for today came from my bedroom door she taped it to it is says… “          Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream,” by Mark Twain. Have a good day diary.

June 3, 2012

Dear Diary,

Tec rehearsal today, they have to set the lights and mics on us. I really hate this because we are practicing but having to stop and go again. It was driving me a little crazy. I’m so tired I just want to sleep a little that’s all.

Jake was in class driving me crazy like always but he’s Ben’s understudy and I will curse Ben if he misses one show. Guess what, Ben missed the play today. He played sick so he could go play hooky with the guys. Why did he do this to me?

Guess what! I had to kiss Jake. I’m more confused than I have ever been…Jake sings really well and he was different. He looked like Hugo, Cute clean cut boy. Where has this guy been? He’s really good at acting. Why didn’t he get the lead?  It didn’t make sense to me. I’m glad it’s over. I loved the way Jake touched me.

Then there the kiss…Wow, it’s one of those kissed that goes all the way down to your toes and it’s just as good as it comes from your toes. I’m going nuts. Then my mom quote did help it made me think too much… “When he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars and he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun.” William Shakespeare. I’m going to bed and think about it tomorrow.