Juliana's Diary

June 1, 2012

Dear Diary,

Ben said he was sorry and would give me time. I know he was a good guy after all. Had to work on “One Boy” today, I love this song, I feel like I’m singing to Ben. I can’t wait to sing it to him tonight. Ben and I are going to dinner after tomorrow is practice. Jake had to play Ben today because Ben had a dress fitting. This sucked.

This guy hates me but why do I want to kiss him. What’s wrong with me? Have I gone nuts or something? I started singing again and then I couldn’t breathe and everything went black. I woke up on the Drama class couch. Jake actually asked if I was ok. I looked up, jumped up and went down again. I would have hit the floor of Jake hadn’t caught me.

 Jake had the nerve to say “What are you doing, dieting before the play?” I wanted to hit him but how did he know I didn’t tell anyone that I was. It must have been a good guess. It’s nine and all I want to do is sleep. Mom was worried and brought up food for me. She left a quote with me food tonight… You have a very powerful mind that can make anything happen as long as you keep yourself centered. - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. In other words take care of yourself. My mom is funny at times, Talk to you tomorrow.

June 2, 2012

Dear Diary,

More practice, I think it’s getting to me. I’m so tired. This has never happened before. Maybe homework and practice is getting the best of me. I have to sing every song today and a lot of dancing and Ben was getting on my nerves. Why is he being a pain in the ass today?  I think I need some sleep. Mom just brought me a sandwich to eat. Mom always thought problems were fixed by food.

 Do all moms think they know it all?  I know they’re older and have been teenagers once but this is a different time and it harder on us. My mom thinks she is always right and I’m always wrong. I wish she would walk a day in my shoes and see how different it is. I stopped dieting because I think that’s the problem. I am going to start taking those energy drinks. I hope this helps me more. Mom quote for today came from my bedroom door she taped it to it is says… “          Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream,” by Mark Twain. Have a good day diary.

June 3, 2012

Dear Diary,

Tec rehearsal today, they have to set the lights and mics on us. I really hate this because we are practicing but having to stop and go again. It was driving me a little crazy. I’m so tired I just want to sleep a little that’s all.

Jake was in class driving me crazy like always but he’s Ben’s understudy and I will curse Ben if he misses one show. Guess what, Ben missed the play today. He played sick so he could go play hooky with the guys. Why did he do this to me?

Guess what! I had to kiss Jake. I’m more confused than I have ever been…Jake sings really well and he was different. He looked like Hugo, Cute clean cut boy. Where has this guy been? He’s really good at acting. Why didn’t he get the lead?  It didn’t make sense to me. I’m glad it’s over. I loved the way Jake touched me.

Then there the kiss…Wow, it’s one of those kissed that goes all the way down to your toes and it’s just as good as it comes from your toes. I’m going nuts. Then my mom quote did help it made me think too much… “When he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars and he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun.” William Shakespeare. I’m going to bed and think about it tomorrow.

June 4, 2012

Dear Diary,

       Dress rehearsal tonight, this is going to work but I’m so tired. I’m always jazzed, but this time I feel like someone took all the air out of me. I wish I could sleep in tomorrow, but I can’t, we have to perform for the school tomorrow. I hate this. I really need a break. After this is over I want to sleep for a week.

       I know it bad when my mom starts to worry she asked if I was dieting and I said no.

She brought me more food to eat she says that if I loss more weight she going to take me in to see the doctor. I told her that I’m seeing him this week so you can’t threaten me with him this time. My mom quote of the day found on my mirror… “Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead place them under your feet and use them as a stepping stones,” by

       Well everything is packed and ready so sweet loving bed here I come. I would never say this out loud but I really wish Jake was the one that I would be kissing tomorrow and not Ben. I can’t be thinking this way but I am. I can’t give up everything for one boy can I? No…I can’t not when I have one more year in high school college will be different I can follow my heart there High school you can’t.