Pierce Your Heart (Jealousy book 3)

Chapter 11: Ye Though I walk...

Brandon

"-for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff..." I pray silently beside her in bed, while the oxygen machine whispers and the beeping sounds of all the machines attached to her, oddly brings me solace.

I sigh heavily, rubbing her knuckles with my fingers.

I can't even explain how it breaks me a part to see her like this...every time..
How it kills me to see her like this.

After she collapsed in our bedroom last night I knew it had been the stress taking a toll on her.
And in her condition....
It just too much.

First the cancer,
Now kyle...
Baby girl cant take no more,
But I'll be dammed if I ever let her give in.

I tense, as the thought of losing her invades my mind,uninvited.

Looking down at her peaceful face,
As the ceiling fan tosses her thinning curls on her shoulder and the light from the lamp on the bedside table illuminates her paleness, I smooth my hand across her cheeks.

I can't help her...and I wish more than anything to bare all her pains right now, every last ounce.She doesn't deserve this. No one deserves this.

"Daddy?"I hear at the door, breaking me from my thoughts.

Looking up I see Blessing looking at me with watering eyes, Dessiah and Miguel, behind her, quiet.

I have never seen them so nervous...so sad.

"Come here my gifts."I say.

They walk over swiftly.
Blessing reaches me first, and hugs me tightly.

"Its okay princess" I say as she weeps.

It's taking everything in me not to break.

Dessiah and Miguel  join in on the hug, and I embrace them all.
Kissing each of their foreheads.

"Daddy?" Siah says.

"Yea big guy?" I answer, looking up at him, his eyes pensive.

"Is mommy going to sleep like Grandpa?-cuz I don't want her to sleep that long. "

And there it was...
I was broken.

Without control of my nerves and emotions I sulk into my own sadness and I cry.
I hold on to my kids, and bawl like I have the world on my chest and I needed to release it.

"God please!" I cry out in tears." Oh god! please! "

Suddenly I feel another presence in the room with me, taking the kids away.

"Come on, daddy needs to be alone guys."Mothers says.

I don't even watch as they leave.

I am on my knees on the floor in tears.

"God please! "I lament. "Heal my wife! -lead our son home!-please, please...please, oh God please! " I cry.

I can't take it.
I can't lose everything like this!

Resting my weary head on her stomach I kiss it repeated.

She gave me given me so much.
I can't say that enough!

I kiss her stomach again.

Three beautiful kids.

And she raised my son with me...

She is the only mother I'd chose for him...

I shake my head.

If only Kyle knew what he got saved from.