Pierce Your Heart (Jealousy book 3)

Chapter 16: BLACK

Brandon

I drag the tie from around my neck agressively for the millionth time in five minutes as I get ready for the funeral service.

I am angry, depressed and pass my limits on alcohol.

I throw it back over my neck and attempt to tie it again, looking at reflection In the mirror as if i were my own worst enemy. And I may as well be.....I can't seem to keep everything together...keep everyone alive....be the man I ought to be.

I keep falling short, no matter how hard I try, how diligent I am.

After what happened three days ago, I doubt I can even begin to start to evaluate,to understand. ...try and cope.

Everything is being taken away from me....my family.

"Papa?" Rizz says appearing behind me in her black dress, hair in a bun and eyed gloomy. I look at my baby girl and force a smile.

"Yea pumpkin? "

"Are you okay?" She asks, almost sounding like her mom.

I didnt think it necessary to lie to my baby girl, although I know I probably should for her comfort.

I shake my head slowly.She frowns and take my hand I to hers.

"Its going to be okay daddy, I promise. "She smiles, a smile like her mother's.

I want to break down,
But I figured I'd just do the hardest thing in my options list to do....
And I smile.

I kiss her forehead and sweep her curls

"Go make sure your brothers aren't fighting, please baby girl. "I say.

She smiles and I stroke her cheek.She leaves and I turn back to the mirror to face myself again....This time the man in the mirror was red with torment, Angry with regret and sad with.....life.

I see my eyes tearing up, and ignore them as I violently knot the tie and run it up on my neck almost choking myslef, but my anger doesnt allow me to feel pity for myself at all....
I wish it had choked me, in that second, but I take the thought back as it came.

I slide my jacket on without another glance in the mirror. I didnt care how I looked.

This isnt a show....this is a funeral.....one I never thought I'd ever be attending...

My thoughts are all over the place.

I take a deep breath and walk through the doors.

At the funeral

-omniscience-

Brandon sat amongst his four kids and nephew.He hasn't heard a word the pastor was saying, partially because he was deaf with grief, but more so because of his mother's crying.

"Landon Pierce was a good man, a man on the rise,the baby in the family, but a big man with big dreams, and a big heart-"
I caught a piece.

I look straight ahead, behind the pastor as I console my kids who are crying nonstop. They've lost their only living uncle....
And Hanson, oh God Hanson. ..my beautiful nephew.he sits quietly beside Sarah who was balling her eyes out.

If Des were here, she'd be consoling her best friend. But that damn cancer won't leave my baby alone....she's still held up in a hospital bed, and that heart attack she had last week is not helping the situation. ...she's actually worse.

I shake my head ridding it of any thoughts about Destiny. I can't bear it.

My eyes go to my little brother in his coffin.Dead.Because of this situation with Ernest and Keenon.