Black Ice

Chapter Nine

"There's always going to be bad stuff out there. But here's the amazing thing - light trumps darkness, every time. You stick a candle into the dark, but you can't stick the dark into the light." 

~Jodi Picoult

*****

The first thing I do when I get home is go to Bethany's room. 

She's just woken up, and she's brushing her hair. I stand in the doorway for a few moments, watching her straighten her golden curls, before walking straight into her bedroom and wrapping my arms around her from behind. 

She's a little surprised, but immediately shifts to hug me back. That's what I love about my sister. She's very liberal with love. I bury my face in her hair. It smells like laundry detergent. 

"I'm so glad you're back," she whispers. 

I pull back and look her in the eye. "We have the best doctors, Beth. I was never in danger." 

"I don't just mean the accident. You've only been awake for two days, I know that. But we haven't spoken. You've been so distant. It's like a part of you actually did die in that accident." 

No, Bethany, don't say that. Because if you say that than I definitely am going to cry, and that is the last thing I want right now. 

I straighten my back, trying to regain control of my emotions. "I know, and I'm sorry. It's just kind of hard for me to come to terms with what happened. Can I make it up to you somehow?" 

She smiles. "I'll think of something." 

I hug her again. She hugs me back, her little fingers twisting the fabric of my shirt and clinging to me like a lifeline. I need her. She needs me. And God help me, I am going to figure this out. It's only 10 AM on my third day, even though it feels like I've already lived several lifetimes. I am going to straighten out my life. 

I let go of her. "I need to go talk to Mom. I'll see you soon, okay?" 

She nods. "Sure." 

I stand up and make my way back out of her room and down the hall. I heard Mum crying in the kitchen when I came in, but I ignored her. 

"Mum?" I call. 

She appears at the kitchen doorway at the bottom of the stairs almost immediately. "Alysson! You're back." 

I nod. "We need to talk." I make my way down the stairs. 

"Yes, we do. Look, I never meant to-"

I cut her off. "No. You don't get to say anything. I'm talking."

This isn't me. I'm not assertive. I don't hold grudges. Except she's crossed a line today. She kept information from me that no parent should ever withhold from their child, under any circumstance. And I'm just not ready to forgive her for that. "Mum, I care about you a lot. You need to know that. I do. I love you. But you've done something unspeakable, and I don't care why you did it. You made me hate my father for years, when all this time he never even knew I was alive, and you didn't think you should tell him." 

"I-"

"No, you're not talking. I am. I am angry. I'll get over it someday. But for now, don't expect me to act like I love you. There are a lot of feelings in me right now that I don't want, and I'm trying to control them and let some positivity back in, but it's hard, and I need time to stop being angry. Okay?" 

She looks like she wants to say more, but she just nods. There are tears in her eyes. "Okay." 

"And I want you to promise something for me. Ben and Bethany. Are there any life changing secrets you're keeping from them?" 

"No." She says immediately, and with the utmost sincerity. 

"Okay. Promise me this: Whatever...whatever happens between us, you'll take care of them." 

"I already-" 

"No, you don't. Not like you should. Please, Mum..." I step forward. She has to listen. She has to understand, because soon I won't be there for them and she has to be. "You have to listen to them, and I mean really listen. If Bethany is crying, you listen. If Ben wants to tell you about preschool, don't make him tell it all to the nanny. Listen to them. Be a mother. Be there for them. Love them." 

"I..." Mum hesitates. "I will." 

I nod again. "Okay...good." 

We stand there awkwardly for a few moments before I remember the next thing on my straighten-out-Alysson's-life list. "Excuse me, I have to make a call." 

She turns to go back into the kitchen, and I pull out my phone. 

"Alysson?" 

I turn around. She's hovering on the threshold. "I love you."

I take a deep breath. "I know, Mum." 

She opens her mouth, closes it, and smiles tearily before slipping into the kitchen. It's not 'I love you, too'...but it's a start. 

I turn away and dial Carter's number. He picks up on the first ring. 

"Didn't wait long to answer," I remark. 

"Didn't wait long to call," He shoots back. "I thought, speaking chivalrously, the guy was supposed to call the girl?" 

"Maybe I just can't resist you," I reply, smiling. My voice sounds lighthearted for the first time in hours. 

"I can live with that. Do I at least get to be the one to pick the place?" 

"Depends on what you pick." 

"Fair enough," he chuckles. "Pie-Ticious, 5:30 reservations?" 

"I thought classy people didn't eat until 8:00." 

"Well, I work in a Fro-Yo shop, so what does that say about my level of class? Can I pick you up at 5:00?" 

"Sure. See you then." 

"If you can stand to be away from me until then." 

"Oh, be quiet." I hang up quickly, before he can retort. 

Whew. I think I've fixed my relationships with the most important people in my life right now...besides Paul Myers. But that will come. 

I grin quietly and dial another, more familiar number into my cell. Things are looking up. Maybe a little bit of light in my life is all I need. 

June picks up the phone immediately. "Do you and Carter have a second date?" 

I blink. "How the heck do you know that?" 

"Let's just call it friendly intuition. Now; tell me everything." 

And I do. 

*****

AN: Hi, guys! Heh, heh! Please don't kill me!

Okay, I know I've been gone for a month. I know. Yes, I know. I COULD launch into this whole excuse about how I've been sick and my brother has been sick and my uncle's friend's cousin's fish was sick, but you know what? Forget that. I am undyingly sorry, but now I'M BACK! And I will never be gone this long again, I promise. I'm going to try to update once a week. Really, I write when inspiration hits (Wow, how poetic), so that could be whenever, but I'll try to be a little more constant. Once again, I luv you all for taking the time to read and critique this story.

Shoutout to @shatterthoughts for being the best reader I have ever had. I love you! I'm sorry! Hugs! Cookies! Rainbows!

-HopelessByComparison