Question 1:
Tell me about yourself.
answer 1: I don't like being around people and I've never been able to keep a job.
answer 2: I hate Monday's.
Question 2:
What are your weaknesses?
answer 1: Everything
answer 2: I don't have any
answer 3: work
answer 4: listening
answer 5: Respect for authority
answer 6: Keeping time.
golden answer: I'm a perfectionist.
Question 3:
Why do you want to work here?
answer 1: I don't
answer 2: Because I think your the only place that's stupid enough to hire me
answer 3: Because someone told me to.
golden answer: Because I believe in your business values: Respect, Responsibility and the other one.
Question 4:
If you were an animal what would you be?
answer 1: A snail because I'm really slow
answer 2: A human because that's what I am der.
answer 3: A lion because I always get angry and throw my weight around.
answer 4: A dog because I like chasing my tail and barking at people.
Golden Answer :I would be a unicorn because I am every employer's dream
Question 5:
Where do you see yourself in five years time?
answer 1: Here being interviewed for this job again.
answer 2: Retired.
answer 3: In prison .
answer 4: Working for you and regretting doing this in the first place.
Interviewer:
Thank you for your time and stop wasting mine
