A Long Time Ago

Panic

Bryn's POV

'Bryn.' He whispers. 

I keep crying, tears unable to stop falling down my face. I can't help it. It' Axel, my mate, someone who abandoned me two years ago. He knew what happened and left, just like that. I cross my arms and turned away, bolting upstairs and locking my bedroom door. I want to hate him and I hate that. He's my mate. My back is up against the door and I slid down to cry on the carpet, my chin wedged between my knees while my eyes became puffy messes that I just didn't care about. 

'Baby,' I hear a soft knock on the door and begin to cry harder. He called me 'baby'. His voice wasn't the hard alpha voice, it sounded like the Axel I knew when he were sixteen, chilling by the pool in summer, talking about what we would do when we ruled the pack side by side; beta and alpha. We talked about his mate and who'd she'd be, and who'd my mate be. We talked about our wolves and our lives like they were hard. I told him everything, and he did the same to me. We were each other's rocks. 

'Can you open up for me?' He pleads. 'I just want to hold you.' 

I imagine his talls, bulky frame pressed up against the door while he pushed down his wolf that most likely wanted to break the door down. I imagine his eyes are a mixture of grey and black right now; his handsome face heartbroken because of me. Wow. Some great mate I was. I was never going to be the mate he told me he wanted: someone strong who can handle themselves in the most dire situations. Someone funny and gorgeous who everyone loved. Just the thought made me sob even harder for him. I'm such a disappointment.

'No,' I cry. 'You're only going to hurt me.' I feel like I'm being continuously being stabbed in the chest. I'm hurting him and being a complete bitch to him and he is trying his best to coach me to let him in. I don't know what to do. I want him cuddling my while I cried, but was that what he wants? I don't know. I couldn't cry here forever or I'm going to have a panic attack. Jada. That's who I needed to comfort me now.

'Jada,' I turned to touch my palms to the door frames. 'I need Jada.'

'Okay, angel. I'll go and find Jada for you.' I hear him stand up and press his ear to the door frame one more time. 'Please stop crying.' It was a small plea that made my heart melt for him. He sounded so sad. For me. I feel like such a bad person for doing this to him, however I know he won't want me when he knows who I really am. I can't be his Luna. I just ca't and he doesn't understand why not. 

Axel's POV

I hurry downstairs in a manic search for a girl named Jada. I just wanted Bryn to stop crying and talk to me. I know I hurt her when I left and I was stupid to not even consider her feelings. Assuming she is going to be fine was the worst thing I have ever done and I will never leave her again. She was going to be my beta before everything and she knew my world inside out. I have a feeling that her life has taken a serious down track since then and I hate that. 

I spot a girl with lots of bottled water in her hands walk to the ballroom. She was wearing the same outfit as Bryn, muttering to herself about how much she hated to love girls. 

'Hi,' I introduce myself to her. She did a double take, looking me up and down. She doesn't exactly check me out, which suprised me, she just seems shocked that someone had jumped out on her. 

'Alpha Axel,' she bows her head in respect and I feel embarassed by that much respect. I shake my head at her and realize that she's dropped the water bottles on the floor. I go to help her up and grab the bottles, setting them on the kitchen counter. 

'Axel,' I tell her. 

'Huh?'

'Just call me Axel.' 

She nods dismissivly, bowing her head again. 'Right, Axel. Thank you, for helping me out. I need to bring these to a group of bratty girls.' 

'Isn't there water on the tables?' I ponder, helping her pick up the water again. 

'Yeah, but...these girls hate Bryn and wanted her to get them but she seemed preoccupied with something else...' she trailed off. 

'Are you Jada?' I ask, hoping she is. 

She looks taken aback. 'Yes, why?'

'You need to help me,' I plead, 'Bryn is my mate and is crying in her room asking for you. She won't let me in and keeps saying that I'm going to hurt her when I'm not. I just want to hold her and make her okay again.'

Jada drops all the water again and runs to Bryn's door and I follow suit. 'By the way,' she says while we run, 'Bryn hasn't been "okay again" for the last few years when she was an omega.' 

Jada knocks on Bryns door with more force than I did, looking worried for her best friend. With my werewolf hearing I can tell she is still crying by the door, muttering incoherunt words to herself. I bite my lip, drawing blood and not caring. 

'Bryn, it's Jada.' Jada calls out, holding on to the door knob. I hear shuffled sniffs and the lock being pulled back. I feel hurt; how could she let Jada in but not her own mate? Although, in many ways I don't blame her. Jada turns to me. 'You wait out here and don't bother us until I come and get you, okay? Once I go in I'll calm Bryn down and she'll fall asleep from exhaustion. You can see her when she's asleep and nothing else until she decides it's okay. Yes?' 

'Yes,' I grudgingly agree. 

Jada walks into Bryns bedroom, leaving me my own mess, my wolf crying out for his mate. 

Bryn POV

I let Jada in, still unable to control my tears. I don't know what to do anymore. He can't know. He just can't know. I wish he would leave me alone, only, I don't wish that at all. 

'Okay, okay,' Jada coos me in her arms while I cry. 'It'll be alright. Don't worry.' She sits me down on the bed and goes and gets me some tissue to dry my eyes and a glass of water. I chug the water, not realizing how thirsty I was and wipe my eyes. My nose feels stuffy and I know my hair is a mess. My dress is all crumpled from sitting on the floor and I don't care. Heck, I don't even know where my shoes have gone. All I know is that Axel is probably waiting outside, wondering if I'll ever talk to him again. I just want to cry all my feelings out. 

'H-he's my m-mate.' I hiccup. Jada grabs my pj's and I put them on, trying to take my mind of Axel's smell. 

'I know, sweetie. Why won't you talk to him?' She gently probes, tucking me into bed. 

'He's the one that l-left.' 

Jada looks angry for a moment but goes back to stroking my forehead. 'Did you have another break down?'

I nod, my eyes shutting. I open them in protest. Jada tells me to go to sleep and I think of Axel's face as I do. 

 Axel's POV

Jada leaves the room and I get up, ready to enter. Jada struts right up to me and slaps me on the face. 'You're the one that left her two years ago! The one that made her so upset when she became omega! Aren't you ashamed?' 

I would be angry but I deserve it. 

'Can I go in her room?' I look at her in desperation. 

'Yes,' Jada replies hesitantly, 'in and out, though.' I nod eagerly, slowly creeping into my mates room, holding down my excitement. 

Her eyes are red and puffy and I don't care. She looks beautiful. Reaching down, I kiss her on the forehead. 'I love you, baby.' 

I keep stroking her hair softly, crouching down so I can feel her breaths on my cheek. I can't believe that she is this hurt, and I need to make it right.