[l∆v] | yoonmin

the accident

[7:38PM]
[Text messages: 1 Unread]
[From: Yoongi - I'll be there in five minutes.]

He's always late when meeting someone. I told him to meet me at 7PM, not 7:38PM.

I've decided I'm going to confess to Yoongi today. Tell him everything. Tell him that I love him. I've always liked him, not even dating other people made me stop liking him. It's been like this for a couple of years now so I have to tell him. Otherwise I'll keep dreaming about us being together even though it'll never happen. I know he may not accept my feelings... But I don't mind. I still like him. And I want him to know that.

After waiting for a while, Yoongi finally showed up. "Hey Jimin, sorry for being late. What do you want to tell me?"

"Yoongi... What I have to tell is very important, hence I told you to meet in person instead of talking over phone."

"I see. But is it something bad?"

"No, not really. Well, it depends. Just- Listen to me." I took a deep breath. "I like you. No, I love you. We spent years as friends and I've liked you ever since I first saw you. I tried to wipe away these feelings, I really did. But even dating other people didn't help. I truly love you, Min Yoongi."

Silence consumed us. Yoongi was trying to analyze everything I said with a confused expression.

I knew this wouldn't work out. I tried to sum it up but he would only understand if I explained everything since the very beginning. I'd have to explain him all these feelings that have been confusing me for the past years. But it's impossible to explain. But I'm ok with this, I already knew he wouldn't like me back. I knew for sure he wouldnt accept me. But even so I decided to confess to him, so I must endure the consequences. I'm ok with this.

"Jimin... I've always seen you as a friend, I- I don't-"

"No, that's ok, Yoongi. It's fine, really. I knew you wouldn't like me back."

"Jimin-"

"I just wanted you to know how much I love you. You were always really sweet to me no matter what. We spent a year basically hating each other for no reason but as soon as we started talking to each other, we became really close friends. There's nothing I treasure more than our friendship. I really treasure you and cherish you the most, Yoongi."

"Jimin... You're crying."

Ah... He's right.

I touched my cheeks. "Ah... I was so confident just a few minutes ago yet look at me now." I cried more.

I'm lying to myself. I don't want to accept this, I can't accept it! I can't accept this cruel reality, I can't accept the fact that Yoongi doesn't like me back. Even though I said I'd accept whatever might happen, even though I knew he didn't like me back... I want to keep him next to me, I want to hold him tight, I want to go to the beach and watch the sea together, I want to come back home and see him waiting for me... He's my one and only first love.

"Jimin, listen to me-" He approached me and tried to wipe my tears away.

"No, I'm fine!" I lightly pushed him away. "I just- I need to go. We'll... Talk later." I wiped my tears away and started to walk away.

"Jimin!" I heard him calling me out and heard steps.

I ran.

It's not that I'm mad at him, no. I could never be mad at him. I just can't stand looking at him right now. His perfect pale white skin, his beautiful smile, his amazing black hair, his sweet scent... Looking at him right now is so painful. Everything about Yoongi is perfect. I need him so I can feel complete.

I just can't accept this. If he doesn't like me, then why was he ok when I accidentally kissed him last year? Why did he say it was fine after that, why did he seem more happy around me, why did he kissed me back for a brief second? Why, Min Yoongi?

I ran until I could only hear my heavy breathing and my loud sobbing.

I stopped at a deserted street and sat down on a sidewalk to try to catch my breath.

"Wh-Why... Why did you had to steal my heart, Min Yoongi?" I cried.

"I'm horrible", that's what I think everytime I realize that I fell in love with Yoongi. I feel selfish. I feel like I'm stealing him away from people that could truly love him and take care of him; make him happy. I feel terrible. I'm constantly trying to find a way to stop these feelings I have for him but it's useless. I can't stop liking him. My heart hurts so much whenever I think about him. I wish we just had a thing that would tells us if we could love or not that person. It would be so much better, so less painful.

I heard steps.

He's probably still after me.

I tried to find a place to hide but he noticed me. "Jimin!" I heard his beautiful tired voice tone.

I started running away once again. "Leave me alone! I can't look at you right now!" I wanted to scream, but it came out as a whisper.

I kept running, and running, and running until-

A loud squeaking noise, a bright light, a white car turning around. I felt my body being thrown to the ground. I heard a small crack coming from my back and my neck. I then felt my blood slowly soaking my gray sweater. I saw people starting to gather around.

"Jimin!!" I heard Yoongi's voice from far away. He sounds agonized.

I saw a blurry figure approaching me.

He carefully held my head. "Jimin, it's ok, don't worry! I'm here with you, ok!?"

He rested my head on his lap, took off his black hoodie and pressed it against my wound. I slowly started to close my eyes.

"Don't you dare leave me alone, Park Jimin!" He yelled in tears.

As if I could ever do that, even if I wanted to, Min Yoongi.

Then everything went black.