Even As My Sky Turns To Gray... I Still Love You

Chapter 3

Jungkook is still looking at me with this sad look in his eyes but I know whatever comes next out of his mouth will be the breaking point of our relationship as brother and sister. I couldn't stand the silence or his burning stare that feel like he was staring right through me like I wasnt even visible in front of him. "Sis, Im sorry for what Im about to say and yes you may hate me but know that this is my choice and my choice alone," he said with the upmost serious look on his face but still continued and I just listened.

"Its been what 6 months since the accident and I know you cry every night because the pain gets to be to much for you. Have you ever stop to think how I felt? How every night I'm scared to sleep because I keep dreaming about that big rig coming towards our car and how everytime I hear the screams of our parents right before they die," tears are rolling down his cheeks as he still keeps full eye contact with me but I dare not move or reach out to hug him cause I'm afraid he will push me away and said its to late to comfort him.

"I been avoiding you because everytime I see your face it reminds me of mom and then I get images of mom's bleeding face. It terrified me to the point I started to drink but Yoongi hyung who's my tutor and one of my best friend is trying to help. He's been trying to get me to stop drinking and to at lease talk to you but I refused to tell you anything. As for Seokjin hyung he's the police officer who met you that day to tell you the news," Jungkook kept babbling on and on when the tears had finally stopped all that was left was puffy red eyes. Still I said nothing because what he's saying is true that I never once since the day of the funeral asked how he was feeling. Maybe he was right that I was the one being selfish and not him. Maybe he did drink to numb the pain but he would be hurting himself even more.

It got quiet once more when Jungkook's friend Yoongi spoke for the first time since I been there. "Lara, your brother is going to stay with me. I'll make sure he studies and goes to school everyday and also I'll make sure he will stop drinking and if he doesnt I'll send him right back home to you," Yoongi said the last part to the both of us but he was looking at Jungkook as he said it making sure he heard him clearly and that he meant every word. "He'll be ok with me. I've  been his friend for 3yrs. And he wont be alone at my apartment for I also have a younger brother who isnt here now but will take care of him while I'm away at work."

Still with uncertainty I agreed but I still stuck by my words.

"He can stay with you as much as he likes because he's no longer welcome into my house. He can get his things whenever cause I dont want none of it," I said as I turn around to walk towards the exit but that was until I caught a glimpse of Jungkook's face who looked like his whole world fell apart all over again. Maybe I was going to far and blowing everything out of portion. That didnt changed that fact that he talked to everyone but me! His sister about his nightmares.

It wasnt until I'm half way to the parking lot when someone grabbed a hold of my wrist and twirled me around it was Seokjin glaring at me.

"Dont you think you're being a little harsh on Jungkook. Look how much you both are hurting, have you guys tried to talk out your problems. Sorry, if I'm prying into business that doesnt involved me but you should know that your brother sought me out after the accident. He and my brother Taehyung were friends, but that was when my brother was alive," Seokjin was sorta relieved but slightly amazed that he told a complete stranger about his brother.

"Yes you're right! Its none of your business!" I spoke with so much venom in my words. Seokjin didn't look phased by my words but took a step forward and reached a hand up to my face. I flinched and took a step back.

"What do you think you're trying to do?"

He straight out said, "I was trying to wipe your tears away because a pretty girl like you shouldn't be crying." With a amused look on his face as he stare right into my eyes like he wasn't bother by the sudden confession. We kept staring at each other with silence between us that we didn't even hear the approaching foot steps coming towards us and the clearing of the throat.

Jungkook and Yoongi stood there watching the scene in front them. I was startled out of my daze and turned to see the horror look on Jungkook face and the amused look on Yoongi's. Take a step back and getting ready to turn around. With my back half way turned I felt arms sliding around my arms and stomach and a head propped on my shoulder. I looked sideways to see Jungkook looking at me straight into my eyes.

"Sis, please dont be mad at me. I know what I did to you is wrong but you have to understand from where Im coming from," Jungkook said still slurry his words and puffy red eyes from crying. At least he's more sober then he was when I first came to the bar.

Removing his arms from around me, turned to look at him and he looked at me with eyes so blank and dead. It was as if Jungkook that I loved was no longer in those eyes and the sad crooked smile on his lips.

"Kookie if you want to come home. Then do so now but if you say that you need time then take your time but I wont be waiting because you're almost an adult and you have your own life to live," I said cooly.

He whispers, "I need more time. Just please understand that."

"Ok Kookie. Ill respect your decision," I said then looking at Seokjin and Yoongi.

"Please take care of my brother more better than I can," I said as I turned to walk away for the final time. I didnt turn back when I heard Jungkook and Seokjin calling after me. I got into my car and just bawled my eyes out and kept saying I should've swallowed my pride and begged for Jungkook to come home. With my vision blurred by my tears I looked to my right were I practically turned my back on my brother. And saw what looked to be an outline of his figure surrounded by 3 other figures now holding him and with him crying on the shoulder of the orange headed guy (Jimin).

I took my eyes off the scene and looked straight ahead. We both made our decision and now we must live by the consequences of both of our actions.

Taking a few seconds to collect myself. Wiping a few tears away, I turned my car on then I drove off. I tried so hard not to look in the rearview mirror knowing Jungkook would be standing there looking lost and broken.

Looking straight ahead. I couldn't help but fear for what is to come next.