The Calm Before the Storm

Aunt Roxi

I laid on my side for what seemed like hours, the sun moving up and up and up and then down, down, down. The sunset was breathtaking against the cherry trees, looking slightly up with my eyes I could see a few stars on the dark part of the sky. It was like the orange and pink vanilla swirl against a dusk kissed counter part.

Beautiful, and I just didn't seem to care. I just felt numb everywhere, from my emotions to my physical being. Even my mind was numb, except for the once thought going through my head was that I was going to be a mother. Being a mother was suppose to be a joyful thing, right? Then why did I not feel anything?

Tears formed down my cheeks, I almost didn't feel them, but it was kind of hard to see the sunset through a blurry vision. I rolled onto my back and look up at the darker part of the sky and watched the stars form and show up.

I wonder if it will be a girl or a boy? If it is, what shall I name them? I wondered, my thoughts turning to the little thing that was developing in my stomach. A small smile escaped my lips and I thought that the child could be just like me, except stronger. Hopefully they would be stronger.

I closed my eyes, the smile still on my lips, I was drifting off into a peaceful sleep. Dreams of the night sky and me flying over my life played in my head. Mark and Lucy were running below me, waving up at me and calling my name. They were trying to fly, but couldn't seem to get their feet off the ground. I laughed at them, my voice sounding like windchimes to my ears. The soft tinkiling was beautiful to my ears and soothing to my soul. I turned my head and there was that Will guy next to me, I tried to say Hello, but what came out was a cute little bell sound. He smiled at me and took my hand and pulled me into his warm embrace, causing me to smile and feel warm all over, my stomach was expaning into a pregnant belly. Will smiled warmly and rubbed my belly, I felt a kick and my smiled widened on my face.

I woke up with sudden jolt, someone was shaking me awake and calling my name out to me. I opened my eyes and saw my aunt Roxanne, she looked like my mother except more delicated with smaller features.

"Jude, what are you doing out here this late? Do you have any idea how worried your parents are?" Roxanne asked, relief held in her eyes.

"I'm just...thinking about somethings" I replied, sitting up and leaning on the side of the bed of my truck, "and I fell asleep watching the sunset"

"Were you out here all day Jude?" Roxanne asked, sliding into my truck and sitting down cross legged next to me.

".....Maybe...."

"What's wrong, you seem.....off?" She asked me

"Let's go home, I'm starving" I replied, not looking at her. I'm awful at lying, even to myself.

"Jude, what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything"

"....I'm pregnant" I replied, sinking down into a deeper slouch.

"Excuse me?" Roxanne screamed, if her eyes got any wider they would fall out.

"I'm pregnant okay? I'm sorry that I'm not the perfect child that I was brought up to be, I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough!" I yelled at her, tears threatening to pour out of my eyes.

"Oh God Jude" Roxanne whispered, pulling me into a tight hug.

I melted into her embrace, letting myself go for the second time that day. Wails escaped my throat and out my mouth, muffled by my aunt and her small body.

"What am I going to do? Aunt Roxi?" I asked between my sobs.

"I don't know, but we'll think of something" She whispered back.