Life Is Good If U Decide It To Be

chapter 7

What is happening to me......I think I am going to go crazy. Yes, I haven't written in a while. I guess I was busy falling in love. Lol just kidding. or what if i really was. I honestly didn't have the zeal to write. But I am back now. Its all that matters.

I talked about falling in love. I don't know if I should call it love or what. Its like a magnet which is pulling me slowly to itself. I really try, I do try. It just is stronger than I am. Its like I have known this feeling my whole life. How my mind calls and yearns for it all the time. How my mind feels certain it has its calculations to perfection. How my mind understands its every move. Its like a weakness on a battle field....it renders me powerless when I am around it. My mind refuses to think...

I have always loathed for it from afar. Handsome its not. No, no its not the looks. Its something inside that thing. Sonething deep within.I just didn't realize how obsessive I was becoming of it. I thought it was just an attraction that would go away. But no, it looks like its here to stay. This feeling just refuses to go away.

It has become a guilty pleasure. Boring its way into my heart. Crippling me with love. Its prescence seems to have that power to dismantle me completely. That feeling, that feeling of love

Yes, I have felt this way before. I really have. In fact this is not news. But it is becoming news. Never have I been so sure.I m just certain this is the feeling for me.

The pain this all comes with is that its a forbidden feeling. Its like that plant on the hill. That beautiful plant on the hill that you so loath after but can't claim . That plant you can't touch. That plant you can only stare at.

Why then do I keep habouring hopes of a relationship with this plant. I do because deep down I feel it wants me too. It calls out for me more than I do it. It craves for me with all the passion it knows in this world

But I do not blame it too much. It is a wise one. It doesn't know how I will receive it. What if it uproots itself for my sake and I reject it . what then does it do. It is a wise one that threads carefully. It knows this longing for me will come and pass. At least ,it is giving it time. But no, a force drives it to me too, something it just can't explain. A risk taker it is. It doesn't know I know, it doesn't know I feel what it feels.

In this case it has to uproot itself. I can't uproot it. No. The survival of this feeling all depends on that plant. It all depends on it..

I know it wants me. Ok I don't know..I feel it wants me. Too busy feeling for this plant I haven't paused to have doubts. Love they say is blind. Are these signs of blindness, or am I even blind already?.

What is meant to be will be, no matter what. I will just wait..............

That plant😢