Feeling Strange Again

Opening Up and Healing

I woke up in my bathtub, groaning at the burning sensation in my wrist and the dull pain in my back and neck. I looked down at my clothes, bloody. The bathtub was also stained by the crimson colour. I stood up, stretched out, stripped out of my clothes and turned on the shower. After washing myself and cleaning the tub (lazily) I stepped out of the shower and put my blade back in its hiding spot. I picked up my clothes and made my way to my room. Before walking to my room I went to the kitchen and threw away my pants and sweater because not even the strongest bleach would wash those stains away. I quickly made my way down the hall but stopped abruptly because I could hear a sound coming from my room. I prepared myself for any attack that was to come my way. I burst into my room and looked around for the sound. When I didn't see anyone I sat down on my bed and put my head in my hands sighing. Deciding that it was probably best for me to get dressed before I caught something I got up off my bed and picked out something to wear. A giant hoodie that said 'Thing 1' and some black skinny jeans. This sweater was what Tae got me for our one month anniversary. He's 'Thing 2'...Tae. Everything just seemed to come flooding back and before I knew it I was crying again. I sat down on the floor trying to collect myself. He probably thinks I'm disgusting. Why would he want to be with someone like me? My daze came to an end when my phone started ringing. I grunted wiping my tears away with my sleeve sniffling and crawled towards my phone. "Hello?" "K-Kookie?" Tae "Yeah it's me" he sniffled "K-Kookie, I love you" Why? "I-I love you too" "My mum said that when someone is sad and hurts themselves they're lacking a chemical. I knew that before. I want to make you happy again"  I was crying again. Why do you have to be like this? "O-Okay Tae, but I don't think I can be fixed. I'm supposed to be like this forever" "It's okay as long as you can still be happy" "I can still be happy" I could hear him sniffle again. "Kookie I love you so much I don't want you to be sad ever. You should be happy. You're beautiful, you shouldn't hurt yourself. I love you so much, Jeon Jungkook." By now my tears were turning into a never ending stream. I let out a shaky breathe "I-I love you too, Kim Taehyung" "Kookie I have to go but, I will see you soon okay?" "Okay Tae" and with that he hung up.

I sat in front of Jimin with bubble tea in my hand. He was babbling on about what him and Yoongi did for their 2 year anniversary, apparently it consisted of nothing but movies food and kisses. Now he's complaining about the pain in his ass, also known as Yoongi's dick. Wow I thought he was serious about the movies and shit. I have no idea why I fell for that they can't seem to go a day without fucking. He's also talking about how he dyed his hair brown and might need to do it again because the orange his hair was before is coming through again. He really sounds like a girl what the fuck.  I sighed putting my head on my hand and stared out the window as Jimin babbled on. I jumped when a very familiar alien started banging on the window.
I giggled a little at  his stupidity and excused myself from the table and jogged outside. I smiled at Tae and jogged over to him wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him down for a kiss. I smiled when he dipped me back, I felt like I was in a cheesy romantic movie when the couple reunites after be away from each other for a long time. He pulled away slightly and whispered "I love you" against my lips. I smiled before kissing him again. Jimin walked out of the shop and chuckled before saying "I'm heading over to Yoongi's house, I'll see you later...or maybe tomorrow." He winked at us before leaving in the opposite direction of our apartments. Tae pulled away and grabbed my hand. "Where are we going?" I asked. "To Narnia!!" I rolled my eyes squeezing his hand a little.    

We arrived at a beach. A very nice beach with big cliffs and clear water. I was amazed by this I didn't even know there was a beach around here. He started to pull me up a hill, by the time we were half way up the hill he was basically dragging me. I was panting and dragging my feet while he energetically pranced up the hill like a graceful alien. "Wait, hyung slow down a little. I'm gonna die" I panted. He stopped walking, let of of my hand and crouched down slightly. "Hop on Kookie. I'll be your escort." I started laughing at what he just said. Does he even know what an escort is? "Babe, you do realize what you just said right?" "I told you I was going to give you a piggyback?" Oh my god he doesn't know. Oh well. I hopped on his back and off he went. We sat on a cliff, I had my feet dangling over the edge and he sat behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist to prevent me from slipping. I laid my head back in his chest and stared up at him. He was looking at the sky, the colours from the sunset were radiating onto him making him look like a flawless alien, my flawless alien. I love him so much. I moved my head up and placed a kiss on the underside of his chin smiling at him. He looked down at me and giggled "I love you, princess" "I love you too, alien." He turned me around and pulled me into him. I buried my face in his neck kissing it lightly. He pulled my chin up so I was facing him and kissed me sweetly. I smiled getting a little comfortable and moved towards him a little more not breaking the kiss. He pulled me onto his lap and grabbed my bum squeezing it lightly. I pulled away and looked down at him "You're so cheeky" I poked his cheek "but I love you anyway." He smiled up at me. I pulled my phone out of my sweater pocket checking the time. "We should head home, Tae" he nodded pecking my lips one last time before picking me up and carrying me back to my apartment. I giggled the whole time at his stupid jokes or his reactions to certain things. Once we got up to my apartment (they finally fixed the elevator) he pulled me into a hug. "You know you can stay the  night, right?" He smiled "Good I wanted to cuddle you all night" I let him go unlocking my door and walking into my apartment, kicking off my shoes. I felt hands snake themselves around my waist and I was lead into my bedroom. He pushed me onto my messy bed climbing in next to me and cuddling into me instantly. He's like a really affectionate puppy. Oh well.

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*internally facepalms* what did I just do...?