The New Headmaster (Severus Snape Fanfiction)

5

Girl Talk with Minerva

I glanced up with tears in my eyes to see Minerva in the doorway, waiting for me to say something.

Noticing that I was about to cry and my Dad's journal was in my hand, she walked into the room and came up to me. She grabbed the journal out of my hands, set it down on the desk, and put me in her arms. I didn't want to cry all over again and show my emotions, but she told me it was all right. So, I gave in and started to cry. I wasn't able to say much at all, really, even though I wanted to. I think she knew that I read everything that Dad had written down. We stood there for what seemed like forever; she let me cry, saying, "Just let it all out, darling, just let it out." And I did; I did let it all out. Minerva grabbed her wand and flicked it as I watched as she closed the journal for me. To come and think of it, I haven't cried this much since Dad died when I witnessed it with Harry. Eventually, when I stopped crying, Minerva made some hot cocoa for us as I sat against the wall.

I looked up to see Dad's picture of himself, which was right across from me, hanging on the wall. "Did you know of anything he wrote in his journal," I asked. "I only know what he shared with me, dear. But with working with someone for so many years, you tend to share things that you feel comfortable sharing." "How come he shared with you and not me? I feel like I don't even know who he really is." "You were too young, dear, and you're his daughter. He only wanted to protect you and want what's best for you. I believe he would've told you things eventually, especially if he was still alive." I heard footsteps as she handed me my hot cocoa and sat down right by my side. "Now, my dear, tell me what happened when you talked to Severus." "How do—" "I had a feeling you would go and see him after a while." So, I told her everything that happened and what was said. She listened to me, nodded her head, and waited for me to finish.

I stated, "I'm beyond confused. I don't know if he loves me or not, but I hate him for being so cruel. I mean, it seems like he might still be in love with me or that his feelings towards me didn't change. At least it went a lot better than I had originally thought it would." "Well, Paige, I can agree with you on that. I'm only slightly surprised at how things went, but I'm glad things went fine. I may not know how he feels, but maybe deep down, things didn't change." "What do you mean exactly?" "Severus seems to care for you and has watched out for Harry, somehow. He's probably still in love with you, dear. I have to say, though, your father would've been disappointed with how he's running things." "Maybe one day I'll be able to get the truth out of Severus to find out for myself. So far, he won't tell me anything, that is, until he knows I'm ready or something like that. In a way, I feel like I'm in the military, honestly, with certain things we have to do. That and I wouldn't mind a nice, homemade meal again."

"Hmmm..." I looked at her as she looked back at me; I wondered what she was thinking.

"One night this week, Paige, I want you to come to my personal room, and I'll make anything you'd like." I smiled softly and exclaimed, "Can you make meatloaf?" She laughed, "Of course; I know it's your favorite other than spaghetti." "Thank you." "It's no trouble, dear; Christmas is coming soon, after all." "You mean I can spend Christmas dinner with you?" She chuckled, "Well, I can't eat a whole meatloaf by myself." We both chuckled. "I'll be delighted if it was for Christmas." She smiled softly. "You know Paige, I would be happy if you called me Mom instead of my first name. I know I'm your Professor, but I give you permission when we're alone for you to call me Mom." "Do you really mean it?" "Of course. I loved your father, but not in a relationship way, of course. He asked me to take care of you as a mother before he died. He made me promise, in fact, and I didn't realize why until what had happened. I'll always protect you, be around for you, and love you as if you were my own."

"You've always seemed to be more like a mother figure to me as time has passed, especially since I didn't get to know my real Mom. I love you, Mom." "I love you too, Paige." I hugged her tightly as she hugged me back and smiled sweetly. After that, we had a long girl talk about everything as she told me some about her life growing up and how she met my father. I have to say, it was all interesting until she asked me something I wasn't expecting. "Out of curiosity, Paige, are you jealous that Harry loves Ginny in certain ways?" For a couple of minutes, I wasn't able to answer her. "I mean, I honestly don't know. Every now and then, yeah, I am some, but yet he's my best friend." "Interesting, I was just curious about it all; it's not a bother to explain why. I wish Severus wasn't cruel and acting this way." "I feel the same way, Mom, believe me." "I know no matter how hard anyone tries, he's not going to change his mind about certain things."

"Are you saying that you dislike him now?"

"In small ways, even though we've worked together for years. I don't know all of the facts, but no matter how evil he can be, I grew to love him, and so did your father." "I guess that makes sense, yeah," was all I could say as we sat in comfortable silence. I sighed as I pulled my legs against my chest. "Paige, what's on your mind, dear?" I felt her pull me to her side as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "I was thinking about Severus and some memories I have with him, that's all. You know, before everything bad happened. I wonder what Dad would say and do in a situation like this." "He probably would try to get the record straight with Severus about not being himself." "Yeah, I guess you're right about that, but this's what I get for dating a death eater." I watched as she stood and went to the desk, glancing at the photos of Dad and me. "You know, these were your father's favorite photos. He always mentioned them and how close you two were since you were a baby."

I couldn't help but smile just a little.

"As complicated as he was, though, Mom, he never told me much about his life. I mean, I know some things, but I don't know everything or as much as I think I do. I feel like I didn't know him. Uncle Abe had to tell me things and swore secretly to me so that Dad wouldn't know I knew about the past. I know Harry felt the same way because he told me before. Like Harry feels like he knows him, but in reality, he really may not know him that well." "Yeah, Albus mostly kept to himself about his life, but with the people he trusted was whom he told about his life, I'm one of them, you know." "Really? Dad was that open with you," I asked as she returned and sat beside me. "Yes, indeed he was. Like I said before, we worked together for years, so we eventually got more open to sharing things, Paige." "I wish he was that way with me." She grabbed my hand, "I'm sure he would've been Paige if given the chance." "Mom, was there ever a time working here that you liked Dad more than a friend or anything?" "Well, that's a sudden question, dear," she responded, laughing.

"But to answer, yes, I'll admit there was a time when I felt like I started to have feelings for your father before he made it clear where our boundaries stood. It was many years ago while we worked here. As friends, your father and I went out on a school night to dinner to get away. That was the night he told me that he had a feeling he was going to die under someone else's hand. I'm not sure how he knew exactly, but he did. I guess it was because he knew that You-Know-Who would one day return somehow. I recall that I tried not to cry, but he embraced me. Before I knew it, he kissed me, and to this day, I don't know why. I kissed him back as I felt his beard on my face, which made me laugh." I giggled and asked, "Did you like it?" "I did, Paige, at the time. I did, indeed. It wasn't awkward; it was just calm. What about you, honey? Tell me about your first kiss."

"I guess it's my turn to tell the story then," I responded as I giggled.

"Well, mine was with Harry during the first year when we were both eleven. It was after he had to confront Professor Quirrell, and Voldemort ended up showing up. Neither of us ever told anyone about it. Well, Hermione was looking after Ron since he was knocked out. She later told me to go on and find Harry to make sure he was okay, and so I did. I was the one who found him unconscious with the stone in his hand. I came to the hospital wing to see him just as dad came out. Harry told me everything that happened as I was really worried about him. Dad had told Harry that I was the one who found him; I was glad that he was fine. Then, without thinking, I went and kissed him, and surprisingly, he kissed back. After that, that was how we became closer as friends. Now, Harry and I being separated is hard. I was the one person he talked to about everything with everything he'd been through. I know he misses me and probably wants me with him."

"He's a one-of-a-kind boy after all. Was that your only kiss together with him, dear?"

"No, it's not, but I will tell you when it was..."