Change (Stud-x-Fem)

Chapter 8: Understanding

We drove the rest of the way home basically in silence, except for the music playing from the radio when I plugged the aux cord into my phone. When we got there I got out and went to open the door for Jo and went in.

"Baby do you wanna hop in the shower before we talk? To help relax you and all?" Joell was standing behind me at her mirror with her hands around my waist. I nodded and let out a soft but low pitched "yeah" and she went in the bathroom and started the shower. I stood in her room looking at myself in the mirror, thinking about what all I could say to explain to Jo what was going on without making things worse. She was really the best thing that had happened to me, and I didn't want to lose her. 

"Baby the shower's ready," Jo said, coming and hugging me. I looked into her eyes and saw pure, genuine care and love. No one has done for me what she has, and I am so grateful for her. 

"Thank you baby."I kissed her on her forehead and gave her a smile before walking into the bathroom. I took off my clothes and got in the shower. I was letting the warm water hit my face and my long, curly hair. While I was racking my brain for words to say, I hear the door open.

"Babe? I just came to check on you." 

"I'm okay baby, thank you. I love you Joey." I was literally on the verge of tears. I didn't know why though, I had never felt this before. Trying to hold back tears, I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. Then the shower door opened with a half naked Joell standing there. I was pretty comfortable with her at this point, so it didn't bother me that I was naked in front of her. She looked at my body for a moment and snapped herself out of what ever thoughts were going through her mind.

"Do you mind if I join you babe?" I knew she was just trying to help me, because she was so insecure and normally didn't want me to see her naked. 

"I don't mind babe, but you don't have to if you don't want to," I said, reassuring her that if she wasn't comfortable, she didn't have to. She nodded and closed the shower door. Seconds later, the shower door opened again and she walked in. I admired her body for a quick moment, and then moved her hands away from her chest, pulled her closer, and put her hands around my waist. I put my arms around her shoulders and held her. In that moment, as the warm water caressed us both, I felt emotionally closer to her, I felt her chest rise and fall against mine as we breathed together. I felt much closer to her. Before I knew it, I had started to cry. Joell raised her head off of my chest and looked in my eyes.

"Baby what's wrong? Do you want me to leave so you can be by yourself?" 

"No, I'm okay, don't leave. I'm just thinking about what's been going on... Jo I don't want to lose you over something so small, and because of someone so stupid. I would never intentionally do or say anything to hurt you, you know that right?" The tears were streaming steadily down my face. Joell gave me a sincere, warm smile giving me a feeling that everything was going to be okay.

"Yes Jayy, I do know. As much as you've done for me, and what you said earlier, proves to me that you really love me. I promise you that I'm not going anywhere baby, I'm right here. Nothing can break us. Nothing and no one." Her words came out smooth and gentle, wrapping me in a warm feeling. She wiped my tears and kissed my lips gently and held me tight.

After a few minutes we got out of the shower and dried off. I had brought some extra clothes to leave at her house for when I stayed with her over night. I got out a pair of boxers and a sports bra and waited for Joell. She had put on a sports bra and boy shorts. She turned on the tv and came and laid next to me, putting her head on my chest. I started running my fingers through her hair while I thought about what to say. I let out a sigh and began to talk.

"Okay, so you probably know that I was... I wasn't a very... committed... person before I met you. It wasn't too bad, not as bad as others. Actually, you might not believe this, but I never actually had sexual relations with those girls, the most I had done was kiss and cuddle and take them out. I honestly liked all the attention because I wasn't getting the attention I felt like I needed from just one person. Anyway, the day I got that last tardy before Saturday school, Leah came up to me and hugged me and gave me a piece of paper with her number and her address on it saying she wanted to do math homework since we have math together. I ended up forgetting about her, because when I was going to class, I had seen you. It was like I had forgotten everything when I saw you. I finished the school day and went home with KD. I was so busy talking and thinking about you, I didn't even think about Leah, so I never went to her house. Apparently now, she's trying to break us up, or make me look bad so you'll leave me so she can get at me, which ain't gone happen. So yeah... that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." I was nervous about what she'd say. She chuckled at the last part. 

"Baby you were worried for no reason. I'm not mad at you at all. But now I know we gotta watch out for that Leah bitch. Baby I trust you, and I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me and I know you wouldn't cheat. I'm glad you told me." Joell smiled, and it made me glad that she understood and didn't jump to conclusions. I was snapped out of my thoughts by her putting her hand on my lower stomach and kissing my neck. I knew she was trying to tease me, and it instantly had an effect on me, but I tried my best not to show it. She put her head on my chest and dozed off to sleep. I love this girl so much.