A Child Broken

Chapter 6

I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Staring at myself and wondering if what I was about to do was actually real. But back then I couldn't stop, I had no control. My head was spinning and the room was spinning. But I glanced down at the white porcelain sink and spotted the razor and my wrist laying across the cold surface. I raised my wrist to the cool metal of the razor. I got the chills as it touched my skin. But I pushed and dragged across my wrist until I saw it. The blood drizzling off my arm and dropping little spots on the pretty white sink. But again just like hours before I didn't feel any pain. All my thoughts were gonna I just couldn't take my eyes off my wrist. And when I got off my adrenaline high I cleaned up the sink and tucked the razor neatly away in my room. I put on my bulky leather bracelet to cover the mark and went on with my day. The best part of it was that no one suspected anything. And at that point I knew that I might have a slight chance. I changed into my pajamas and went to bed analyzing in my mind what I had just done and how great it felt. Over the next couple days I kept doing it and going on with my normal routine. In a matter of two weeks I had cuts all up my arm and I had to cover it up with long sleeves. Then people started getting curious I could tell by the look in their eyes, but no one ever said anything. I don't know why though everyone always said how worried they were well obviously they weren't too worried about me. Then one day everyone called for a family meeting. Oh god, oh god I know what this is about or do I ugh! I went downstairs and saw mom, Sarah, and tiff sitting in the living room. As I took my seat I got glares from all angles. "We all need to talk!" Mom said sternly. "About?" I asked. "I think you know what Savanah!" "Why are you yelling at me?" "Don't act like you don't know!" Then deafening silence rang in the room. "I don't understand why they have to be here it's none of their business!" I said angrily gesturing toward Sarah and tiff. "In fact it's none of your business!" "Really this is none of my business!" She screamed as she ripped the sleeve of my shirt up. I tried to fight her but she overpowered me and exposed my marks. And I was speechless. All I got from Sarah and tiff were sad eyes welling with tears. I broke down, I lost it, my sanity, my happiness. I couldn't do it anymore I thought that when I started that disgusting habit it was my rock bottom but no that day was. I ran to my room with tears in my eyes and hands, and running down my face. How could she do that to me in front of tiff and Sarah ugh that was unbelievable. With all those awful thoughts running through my head I dozed off. Then in the middle of the night tiff came into my room. "Vanah, Vanah!" Tiff whispered harshly. "What?" I snapped back. "I just wanted to tell you something." I sat up in my bed and watched as tiff slipped out of her silk pajama shorts. Revealing her pink lace underwear and also many many scars on her upper leg and hip. "I do it too. I just do it where no one will ever suspect." She whimpered. And both of us broke out in tears. At that moment I knew I had my tiff back, I knew I was really talking to her. "Tiff why didn't you tell me?" I sobbed. "Why didn't you tell me?" "Fair enough." I replied. And then the rest of the night we sat there and talked and talked and talked about anything and everything. Like our favorite things and more about our backgrounds. We'd never talked like that before, yeah sure we had talked before but not like that. As we chatted I watched the hours fly by on the clock on my nightstand. But it felt amazing. I knew both of us were going to doze off soon but we didn't want to stop talking. So when we finally did we got comfy on my bed in the dark of the night. We were laying side by side holding each other while the cool breeze snuck through my window. I glanced over at my shiny black alarm clock and saw that it said 3:04 am. "Good night tiff." "Good night Vanah" "I love you!" "I love you!"
The next morning I woke up and tiff wasn't there but I didn't think anything of it because it was already ten o'clock in the morning. I went downstairs and smelled bacon and eggs so I sat down and ate breakfast. When my plate was all clear I picked my phone up off the table and checked it. A couple notifications but nothing big so I headed back upstairs. I decided to go look for tiff since she wasn't at breakfast. "Mom was tiff down at all this morning?" "No sorry honey." She yelled back. So I went into her room and I opened the door and saw something I never expected or wanted to see. Tiff was laying across her bed lifeless. Blood splattered all over the bed next to her and slashes on her wrists. Flashbacks of my mom popped into my head and all the blood from my mom's boyfriend. I couldn't stop thinking. Once again I was frozen, dead in my tracks trying to analyze all of it. Then as I glanced around the room I spotted a piece of paper on her dresser. So I walked over and read it.

Dear Vanah,
"She Paints A Pretty Picture

She paints a pretty picture, but the story has a twist, Her paintbrush is a razor, her canvas is her wrist.

She paints a pretty picture in a color that's blood red. While using her sharp paintbrush, she ends up finally dead.

The pretty picture is fading quite slowly on her arm. Blood no longer runs through her, she can no longer do harm.

Yes she painted a pretty picture but the story has a twist you see, her mind was her razor, and her heart was her wrist."

This was us, together against the world in this up hill battle but even though I didn't make I want you to keep climbing!!

Love Tiff!