A Child Broken

Chapter 5

(Hi, I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while I've been busy keeping up with homework and I've been really sick but thanks for reading. Please comment and tell me what you think thanks!)

When she woke up in the hospital we were all standing around her and starting asking her questions. Then the next day the tests and scans started. Just in that day she had blood tests, her vital signs, an MRI, and brain scan. Then it was going to take us a week to two weeks to get the results plus we had more scans ahead of us. Throughout out the next couple weeks we had the rest of her tests done, got the results back, and took her home. But what the results showed was that she had damage to her frontal lobe. Which meant that she may have sudden mood changes, loss of senses, and or multiple personality disorder. So we had to watch out for signs of any of those things. And we did. Throughout the next couple weeks we noticed some changes in tiff, she wasn't as social as she used to be and it was like she was distant. Not just from anyone from us, her family. It broke my heart to see her like that. But then some days she would be like her old self again and then go back to antisocial. There were even some rare times where she would act like a boy like with the clothes and everything. That's when we knew something was up and we went back to the doctor. Told what him was going on and he said that it was most definitely MPD or multiple personality disorder. We didn't know what to do we had never dealt with anything like that before. He gave us medication for her and said the best we could do is play along as long as none of the personalities got violent. So we gave her the medication when we were supposed to and played along with the personalities, a few more came along. A little girl, a Russian woman, and a baby. We played dolls with the little girl, comforted the baby, and argued with the Russian woman. It was an interesting time in our lives. Then one day a new one came and it was an angry lumberjack and he was violent. Just like the doctor told us to watch out for so then we went into him and told him. He told us that she would probably have to come in for treatment. We brought her in and the doctor sent her to a specialist, a psychiatrist. "Dr. Toleman" said the sign on his door. When we walked in we saw a book shelf, a desk and chair, and a sofa chair thing. He introduced himself and told us to wait in the waiting room and he would have his first session with her. So after an hour she came back out and he asked us to come in and talk to him alone. He asked us if we would allow her to be hypnotized and explained that that may be one of the only ways to subdue her when she goes into one of her lumberjack rages. "Anything doctor, anything to help her please!" Mom cried. "So it's settled then next session we'll try hypnosis." Exclaimed Doctor Toleman. On our way home tiff whimpered something from the back seat. But we didn't know which person we were talking to so we just brushed it off. Then she repeated herself and we realized we were talking to the little girl but still had no idea what she was saying. So we told her to repeat herself, "the bad man" she whispered sadly. "Wait what bad man" mom asked curiously. "The big bad man" she replied. And suddenly I knew what she was talking about but decided to keep my mouth shut. Mom stopped questioning until we got back to the house and asked me if I knew what she was talking about. I said no, lying right through my teeth. "It was the little girl talking it's probably nothing mom don't worry about it, you have enough stress as it is." I said consolingly. When I went up to my room I got out my journal and wrote rapidly about what had just happened and then threw myself on the bed. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god I can't believe this is happening to me" I whispered to myself. Tiff had recalled the stories I told her and Sarah about my childhood and the little girl was me when I was younger after my mom's boyfriend had done those awful things to me. She was me, how it happened I still don't know to this day. But however it happened it did and if I let that little girl go on inside tiff she was eventually going to tell my devastating story to all the people I love most that I didn't want to know. I started bawling on the bed my face in my hands and tears covering my hands. I can smell the wet saltiness I'm crying so much. And all the air I'm breathing is suddenly really damp as I realize I can't breath it anymore. As I sit there my life flashes before my eyes and then I know I'm having a panic attack. But I forgot what to do, how to calm myself down so I just said whatever and let myself go there. I was all tense, crying I couldn't breathe and I didn't want to stop. The pain was a release like I had never felt before. And before I knew it was over and I wanted more because for a split second in this whole awful life I was in too much pain to focus on the bad things. Then I thought about doing something I had surprisingly never thought about doing before. But I didn't know, I was nervous but excited I needed the release now it was going to be like a drug for me from that point on.