Pointless Poems

Between

The one part of who I am that I have never met. The happy me.
She is somewhere between the depressed me and the me that can smile all day and never stop. Somewhere between the broken hearts and the glue that held them together.
I'm somewhere between leave me alone and never leave. I can't make up my feelings so I cover them. I try to cover them as well as I cover my hair but not as easy as I thought.
You still notice them. You still notice when I'm on the verge of crying and when I can barely keep my heart together. The glue is fading faster than I can get more and between the overwhelming emotions of my inevitable sadness and the feeling of emptiness that can't be filled by any ordinary object, I won't make it.

But I already knew that I couldn't fix myself. Before I even tried I knew that I was a lost cause. I wasn't going to make it and i could feel it. In the little cracks that will break me and the people that were supposed to hold me together. Between the notes of that song and the voice that screams at me while I cry. Between the blade that hides in my skin and the tears that mix with the fallen drops of my DNA. I knew I would end and I wasn't scared.I cherished it. That moment between complete sadness and inevitable tears, happiness. That second of happiness is what I want. What I need.

I knew it would end. I just waited until you were ready to watch me leave.