Maybe A Little

Chapter 4

The two walked until they were over a hill on the golf course. Neither of them said anything as they walked, and Chad spent the majority of the time trying to come up with something, anything, to break the awkward tension hanging between them. Just as he was finally about to ask "So, how are you?", Ryan stopped.

Chad figured it was a good thing they were walking side by side because if he had been trailing behind, he probably would have run into the blonde. Chad chanced a glance at Ryan, feeling his face burn when he found the other boy staring at him curiously.

"What?" Chad demanded, feeling horribly self conscious.

For a moment, Ryan looked slightly hurt. "I just...you looked like you were as lonely as I felt. I just thought you might want some company. Sorry for trying to be nice...I'll go, I guess. Sorry." And with that Ryan turned and walked away.

Chad registered two things then:
1. Was he really that obviously lonely?
2. Ryan Evans was lonely too?

And then he realized a third thing: He was still standing there, still lonely, and Ryan was walking away, still lonely and possibly hurt...because of him. With that thought, Chad took off running.

He caught up to Ryan at the very top of the hill. He didn't really think as he grabbed the boys shirt to pull him back. However, he probably should have thought a little, because he yanked a little too hard on Ryan's shirt and lost his balance.

The two went tumbling back down the hill. In the end, Chad found himself on top of Ryan in a very compromising position. Chad gulped, but Ryan simply laid there, something like a smirk playing on his lips.

"So I guess you changed your mind about the company?" Ryan chuckled.

For some reason that roll down the hill seemed to have knocked some sense into Chad. "You tell me. You're the one who dragged me out here," he shrugged.

Ryan seemed a little surprised by this sudden confidence but apparently decided to just roll with it because he situated himself more comfortably on the grass and thought for a minute.

"Do you ever just feel like...like no one cares? Like you could just disappear and no one would even notice?"

Chad had to fight the urge to snort, because this was pretty much his life in a nutshell. These last couple of weeks Troy hadn't given him the time of day. Once he thought about it, he realized he hadn't had a friendly conversation with anyone but his parents in the last week. He frowned.

"Yeah...I know what you mean," Chad mumbled.

Ryan huffed. "You have no idea how much it sucks to constantly be in the shadow of someone else. You especially don't know how much it sucks to be so close to that person that you can't do anything to tear them down for the attention you deserve. You don't get...shit," Ryan trailed off.

Chad grimaced, thinking back to basketball season. After almost every game, he would walk out of the locker room with Troy. Every time, Chad would follow behind Troy, wincing slightly every time someone would compliment Troy, not even glancing at Chad. He thought of all the practice he put in on his off time, pushing himself to be better, only to have the coaches tell Troy how great he shot that day. He thought of all the times he had heard people, Ryan even, call him "Troy's sidekick" like he didn't even deserve a name. Chad thought of all the times Troy had been over to his house and, after he had left, Chad's own mother would ask Chad why he couldn't be more like Troy.

"Yeah," Chad choked out bitterly. "I think I get it."

Ryan hesitantly shifted closer to Chad. "I'm sorry," Ryan muttered. Neither of them were exactly sure what Ryan was referring to, but they were both aware that it meant something significant because Ryan Evans never apologizes.

And at that moment Chad was torn. He felt like crying, thinking about how he was always second best, left behind. But on the other hand, he wasn't alone anymore. Ryan knew how he felt. Ryan understood. Instead of crying like he thought he would, Chad managed a small smile.

"It'll be okay."

A/N On a totally unrelated note I hardcore ship Deamus (Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas from Harry Potter) and Caleb Prior and Peter from the Divergent series. I have so many story ideas for these ships so I might start writing these as well if anyone is interested. Thanks!