Maybe A Little

Chapter 17

Zeke didn't know what to do.

Chad was curled into himself on the floor of the school's least-used bathroom. He wasn't crying, but his whole body was shaking. Zeke had tried three times to get his attention, but Chad had simply stared straight ahead, not even acknowledging his presence.

He took another glance at Chad and then took another step closer to the door.

"Chad? I don't know how to help you right now, but I know someone who will, so I'm gonna go find him, okay? I'll be right back, I promise."

Zeke wasn't surprised when Chad didn't react. Zeke turned and walked out of the bathroom, pulling his phone out of his pocket and scrolling through his contacts.

"Ryan, where the hell are you?"

                          -------------

"He was using you the whole time Ryan, how the hell are you so okay with this? Stop walking away from me!"

Ryan stopped walking and turned to glare at his sister.

"Sharpay, you always think you know everything about everything, but has it ever occurred to you that maybe you don't have it all figured out? I asked you not to talk to Chad because we had a plan, and I'm sorry for making the mistake of not sharing every bit of my life with you, but for the love of God would it have killed you to just keep your mouth shut for once?"

Sharpay gaped at her brother. She knew this was a touchy subject, but she wasn't expecting the blame to get thrown on her.

"I don't know why you feel the need to take this all out on me, but I didn't create this problem, Ryan."

"No, you didn't, but you definitely didn't make it any better," Ryan ground out. He turned and began walking towards where he knew he'd find his boyfriend.

                          ------------

Ryan picked up his pace when he saw Zeke standing outside the bathroom door, glancing in nervously.

"How is he? Scale of 1 to 10?"

Zeke bit his lip. "It's a 10, Ryan. It's like he's in another world, I think he might be in shock, I don't have any idea what to do..."

Ryan sighed as he looked at the door wearily. "I'll see what I can do."

Ryan pushed open the door quietly and stopped the second he laid eyes on Chad. The curly-haired boy looked like he'd seen a ghost. He was shaking head to toe and had his knees clutched to his chest in a white-knuckled grip. Ryan stepped closer.

"Chad?"

Chad didn't react, so Ryan took a few more steps forward until he was crouching in front of Chad. He reached out and placed a hand a Chad's knee. He took it away when Chad flinched at the contact.

"Chad, baby, what can I do? Please, let me know how to help. How can I help you?"

Chad didn't open his mouth, but Ryan let out a breath when Chad reached out a shaky hand. Ryan grabbed it gently and they sat in silence for several minutes.

"Everyone knows now."

Ryan met Chad's eyes when Chad broke the silence. "Yes. They do."

They lapsed into silence for another few moments before Chad began to speak again.

"I'm sorry I dragged you into this. Should've known that plan wouldn't work. We should have just broken up, like you said."

Ryan shook his head frantically. "No, Chad, we both know that's not what either of us wanted. I know our plan didn't go the way we wanted it to, but we're not breaking up."

"But everyone knows now, Ryan! There's no way to hide any more, what are we supposed to do?"

"We have an actual relationship, Chad! I've been waiting for you to be ready to come out for months! I know I said you could take your time, but have you ever, for one second, thought about what I would want? Everyone already knows I'm gay and hardly anyone gives me shit for it, so what the hell are you so afraid of?"

"Everything, Ryan! You don't get it! People don't give you shit because they're scared of your sister! I don't have anyone for people to be scared of! You're always making it sound like we're the same but we're not!"

Ryan stared at Chad, fuming and hurt.

"Don't you dare think that no one would have your back. You have Zeke. You know your mom won't care if you tell her. Even Sharpay had your back before today. And you," Ryan took a deep breath and refused to meet Chad's eyes. "You had me." Chad flinched. "But if you don't think I'm enough to keep you happy and safe, then we need to end this now, because I'm not going to be with someone who can't see what I'm worth."

And with that Ryan turned and walked out of the bathroom.

I hate this, I'm so sorry.