Hope

Chapter 10.

I awake the next morning to the sound of my alarm going off.
I sat up and sang along to 'beautiful to me'. Before I got to the second verse I found my self dancing around my room. I almost seemed happy. I went throw my cupboard looking for something comfortable to wear. I picked up my phone to play one of my other favorite songs 'beside you'

I sang along as loudly as I could, giggling a little at how many blow outs I'd managed to have in one line. For the first time in a long time I actually looked forward to today. Mum was doing better in hospital and in a few weeks I was going to see Cameron Dallas live. For the first time in years I felt like I was strong. I'd even thrown out my blades and told myself I was going to get better. Something if you told me two months ago, I would have laughed in your face. But now I was kicking my habbits and feeling powerful.
I'm gonna do it
I told myself as a grabbed a pair of shorts.
I'm not gonna hide anymore
And with that I got dressed into short shorts and my favorite tank top. I smiled at myself in the mirror. I felt beautiful, yes my scars showed but I wasn't gonna hide them anymore. I was gonna be proud of them.
I grabbed my phone and headed to the hospital.
Everything about today seemed special and beautiful. The dogs next door play fighting. The different colours of the flowers in the garden down the road. And the children playing at the park.
I had a new outlook on life and this time nothing and no one would change that. Hurting myself didn't change what happened to my siblings. It didn't bring my dad back. It didn't make my friends or family love me. It didn't stop people from bullying me and it didn't fix my pain. It only made it worse. I'm going to get better and if not for me. For the people around me and for Cameron.