Forever Silenced

The Muse

“Your father has left earlier, actually.” Fredrick told me as he poured my morning coffee. I looked down and told myself that I shouldn’t be feeling lonely since it has always been like this. I was supposed to be used to eating breakfast and dinner without him but having him here since yesterday had drastically changed everything.

He is still my father, no matter what, and that alone was enough. He is the only relative that I have and…I cant afford to lose him too. He might be away from home for most of the time but at least, I know that he’s just out there, somewhere.

After the breakfast, I headed out to the location where the finals were going to be held. The registration for the finalists would start at eight and the doors would be open for the audiences at around nine. The contest proper would start at 10:30. As what I believe, the contest would end at noon.

When I arrived, there were already a few cars and people going in. The staff of the contest, the finalists and their models. Speaking of which…

“Nate,”

I turned to my heels and almost bumped into my precious model again. She half-stepped back and smiled. “Good morning.” She said as she tucked in her scarf closer. She looked so cute under the layers of her coats and warmers. I had offered to fetch her for today but she declined (quite stubbornly, I shoud say) and said that she can manage going to the Hall. “It’s not like I wont show up for tomorrow. I don’t break my promises, Nate.” She assured me.

“You look great.” I said and she laughed at my remark. I didn’t quite understand why since I was just saying the truth. “Why don’t we get in and have your name signed up? We don’t want you losing out of not being able to show for this part.” She said.

The inside of the town hall was already done. The whole floor was empty, save for a few painting stands and a table filled with all the known mediums. Dividers were placed around each station to allow privacy and discourage cheating. Chairs and bleachers were set up at the sides of the Hall while the stage held a long table where the judges would be watching. Cameras and media men were allowed to cover the event but they weren’t allowed to move around.

While waiting, we were ushered by a staff to the back stage where other finalists and their respective models were. “Oh, here’s Summers.” I heard someone call the moment I stepped in. Thomas Grant extended a hand to me, which I gladly took. He was one of the finalists that I’ve become close to. “Thomas.” I said and nodded to the girl who walked beside him. She was a pretty brunette with feline-like aura. She had a natural poise and a little smile was always plastered on her face. “This is Miranda Grant, my cousin.” Thomas introduced the girl and we shook hands as well. “A pleasure to meet you, Ms. Grant.” I said and beckoned for Stephanie. “Why, she’s cute.” Miranda said when Stephanie came about. My model smiled shyly and bowed her head. “No offense, Summers but…don’t tell me she’s your model.” Thomas held out a soft laugh. “It’s not that she’s not pretty but…are you sure you read the theme for today?” he asked me. I smiled and held Stephanie’s cold hand. “Yes. I am very certain of my model and my prospects. It’s not like you don’t know me, Thomas.” I said and excused ourselves.

“Nate…” Stephanie whispered. I looked down at her and she looked so crestfallen. I gently tilted her chin to face me and leaned. “Don’t worry. Don’t listen to them and just trust me. Will you do that, my muse?” I asked and she nodded.

When the time came for the contest to arrive, the remaining seven participants and their models were called. Applauses and camera flashes greeted us. At the far left, I saw Fredrick gave a short bow. After rules were explained, we were directed to our stations.

I briefed Stephanie of the nature of my proposed artwork. I told her that I would paint her as if she was picking a flower and with an image of myself right behind her, trying to help her with it. “Wait, how about your pose? Will I be doing it as well?” she asked as she removed her scarf and coat. “I’ve done self portraits of various poses, Stephanie. I have a good knowledge of how I should paint myself in a position that I desire.” I said and slid on the apron. I decided to use my favorite medium: watercolor.

“Good luck to all finalists and…begin!” the announcer said and I immediately guided Stephanie on how she should be posed. When I was certain that she was most comfortable, I started to fill the canvas with the colors. I was a bit worried that she might not be able to hold on to the pose since she wasn’t trained well for this. But while I was glancing on her, I saw the determination in her eyes and even if she was obviously shaking already, she kept on staying in position.

“You could sit down, Stephanie.” I called to her when I got another set of watercolors. “Are you done already?” she asked and looked at the clock behind her. Forty-five minutes had already elapsed and thankfully, I’ve done painting most of her parts. I have also done a good guide for myself and I don’t think that I would worry about the time.

“It’s fine. Just a little more coloring and your part is good.” I said, resuming to my palette. “C-Can I see it?” she asked as she sat on a stool. “I’m sorry to decline, Stephanie. I want to surprise you.” I said and offered an apologetic smile. “Ah, okay. If you need me to pose, just tell me.” She replied.

Painting her was probably one of the easiest things I’ve ever done. She had soft features which were very easily achieved through the watercolors. It gave off a magical effect which was what I had wanted. She might not realize this but I’m sure she’ll be sought after by other artists. And somehow, it pained me to think that Stephanie would be asked to pose by others. When I first saw her, it felt like I wanted to own her. I wanted her to be my only model. I don’t think I would ever get tired of painting her. There was something about Stephanie that I keep on longing for. It might sound very cliché but I feel like I’ve seen her before. I don’t actually remember seeing her but there was this tugging feeling that I know her from somewhere. The moment I laid eyes on her, I began to feel it. I even browsed my old photo albums but I found no one that might have been her.

The bell rang and it signaled the end of the contest. Staff came in and took the materials from our hands and covered the palettes as they brought them to the stage. Stephanie walked to me and patted me on the shoulder. “I’m sure it’s a beautiful one.” She said and I slumped on my own stool. “I feel so tired. It felt like I was painting the whole day.” I whined and she laughed, a sound that was ever so pleasing to my ears.

It resembled the laughing I heard on my dream last night.

“Say, Stephanie,” I called to her as she donned her coat. “I’ve asked the cook to prepare something for lunch. It would be tremendous honor of you agree to having it with me.” I said. “Ah…” she stopped and looked uneasy for a while.

“But of course, if you have other appointments to attend to, you are very free to decline.” I added.

“Thank you, Nate. I appreciate the offer but I do have something to do after this. It’s been a great experience to model for you.” She answered. “Thank you for agreeing. I’m sure it must have caused you some inconvenience to come here this early.” I said, rising up to remove the apron and wipe my hands. “You’re welcome.” She smiled and her eyes twinkled like a starry night.

There was about a ten minute break and I chatted with the other participants. Thomas kept on worrying about his piece. “I’m sure you did very well, Thomas.” I cheered him up. “I sure do hope, Summers. I’m really nervous about this. Our family is watching this!” he said and Miranda giggled. “Have I not told you that Uncle Harry is betting that you’d only get third place for this?” she teased. Thomas turned to a shade of bright red. “Seriously, that old man! He likes to tease me in this kind of way!” he retorted.

“Master Nate,” Fredrick appeared behind us. “Congratulations, sir, for a job well done.” He said and bowed. “And also to Master Thomas and Miss Miranda. I was watching your palettes and I trust that you would get high places.” He added to the two. “Thanks for the compliments, Freddy.” Miranda said. He then turned to Stephanie. “And thank you very  much, Miss Stephanie for helping out Master Nate in this ordeal. You have no idea how grateful I was when I learned that you agreed to his proposal.” Stephanie blushed and shook her hands. “I-It’s nothing, Mr. Fredrick. You don’t have to…do this.” She said. Thomas nudged me softly and winked. “She’s really cute, Summers.” He commented and when I opened my mouth to counter him, the chime sounded.

It was time.

“Thank you for waiting! I now have the results of the winners in this year’s competition!” the announced said and the crowd cheered. I gathered a deep breath and consoled my wildly beating heart. I’ve done my best so hopefully…it would be the best for them too.

A hand suddenly grabbed mine. It was warm and soft. “It’s okay, Nate. I’m here. We’ll face it together.” Stephanie said with the sweetest and kindest smile I’ve ever been graced.