Second Chances

Chapter 5

After spending about an hour in my new bedroom, unpacking my bag, arranging my clothes and belongings, Jasper walking in to show or tell me something, me contemplating whether or not I will survive this trip, etcetera, I walk down stairs for lunch.

"Hi Katie, have you unpacked? Found everything okay?" Mrs Wilson asks me as I walk into the beautiful kitchen.

"Yeah, all good, I'm settled."

"Did Jasper help you, show you around?"

"'Course I did." Jasper miraculously appears right behind me. "What sort of a host do you think I am, Mum?"

Mrs Wilson laughs. "Okay, you two can make your own lunches, we're going to head up to the shops to grab some stuff. There's bread and things in the fridge."

"Yeah sure," Jasper says, walking over to the fridge and taking an apple out. Mrs Wilson walks out of the room, calling for us to be safe. Jasper turns back and says to me through a mouthful of apple, "Wanna go in the pool after lunch?"

"You shouldn't go swimming within twenty minutes of eating."

"You're such a baby, Katie. Nobody follows that rule."

"I do."

"Yeah, 'cause you're a baby."

"You're an idiot."

"Language, Katie."

"Fuck you." I say, walking past him to start making my lunch.

"Woah!" he exclaims. "I thought you were, like, innocent! I guess that going to a shitty public school for your final year can really change a person."

I can name a lot of things that can change a person. The boy standing behind me telling me off it one of them.

"Shut the fuck up. Right now." I say, turning around and glaring at him. My voice is strangely calm.

He takes a step back. He looks genuinely worried. "Look, I'm sorry, okay?"

I don't reply. I know he's not sorry for shit.

"Okay, I shouldn't have mentioned your school. For whatever reason, that upsets you."

It's not so much the school that upsets me. It's why I had to go there in the first place.

Because of him. Him. Here. Right in front of me. This all comes down to him.

"Fuck..." I say under my breath as I push past him to go back upstairs. I stop at the bottom of the staircase and turn back around to face him.

"I can't do this." I say, straight to his face. "I thought maybe I could put up with it, maybe I can push through and learn to cooperate with you, but no. I can't do it. I can't do this."

I turn and walk back upstairs. I walk into my room and slam the door behind me.

Fuck!

This is just too hard.

Why am I like this? Why am I so fucked up? He didn't even say anything that bad just then. I guess it's all just pent-up emotion. I wish people could interpret that better. Someone may have said the simplest thing, but my reaction isn't always purely based on their comment.

I don't know what Jasper's thinking right now. My guess is that he thinks I'm in "one of those moods" and I'll snap out of it soon. Well, there's plenty more where that came from.

I lie down on my bed and pick up a book. I start reading.

After about five minutes there's a knock on the door.

Jasper opens the door slightly and puts his head in the gap.

"Hey." He says. "You want to actually have some lunch now?"

I put my book down and walk towards the door. He moves out of my way and I walk out of the room, completely ignoring his presence and I walk downstairs.

Five minutes later I have a perfected sandwich sitting on a plate. I take a seat on the lounge facing the TV, though I don't turn it on. Unfortunately, a minute or two later Jasper come and joins me on the lounge. He doesn't say anything. He just starts eating.

We sit in silence for a few minutes. The only sound I can hear is his mouth because he chews with his fucking mouth open.

"Chew with your mouth closed, for fuck's sake."

"Make me."

I roll my eyes and groan. "Why do you have to be so frustrating?"

"It's funny watching you get mad at me."

"Okay, seriously now." I say, repositioning myself on the couch so I can look him dead in the eye. I'm about to speak when I realise that his gorgeous eyes aren't that far from mine. I quickly shuffle back a bit.

"Did you want me to come on this trip with your family?"

"Not really."

"Really? Because you seem to like talking to me."

"Who else am I going to talk to, the ghost in the attic?"

I shake my head in disbelief. "You're so dumb. Just leave me alone." I stand up, picking up my plate.

"Aw Katie, don't be like that. Let's try to be friends!" he says in a mocking voice, laughing, still sitting.

"You're unbelievable. Stop it. Stop trying to be friendly, stop trying to socialise with me, stop trying to make me enjoy myself because I won't. Stop changing your mind about me. You're either nice to me or you're not. You either like me or you don't. Make up your mind and stick to it."

Jasper stops laughing and stands up. He's a lot taller than me now, unfortunately. We used to be quite close in height. He looks at me seriously.

"You really hate me, don't you?"

"Can you give me a reason why I shouldn't?"

He gives a small smile. "Not yet."

"What do you want from me, Jasper?"

His face is very serious. I brace myself for what's probably about to come.

"Do you think I wanted to spend two months away, essentially alone, with my ex-girlfriend? The girl that, after two years of an honest and steady relationship, would betray me like that? You may think you have problems, Katie, you may think that my presence is the worst thing for you, but you're wrong. Wake up and realise that not everything revolves around you, when it comes to us."

"There is no 'us'." I say as strongly as I can, despite everything he has just said.

"You're right." he shakes his head. "Not anymore. And that's your fault. So don't come away with me and my family, telling me off for trying to get on good terms with you. I don't care if you're not enjoying myself, I'm not either. I wish you'd never come. You're only going to make whatever is left between us worse."

He turns around and storms out of the room. I hear him stomping upstairs and then slam the door of his room.

What have I done?!

Any chance I had of making this trip enjoyable I just threw down the drain.