I'm Just Septic-Eyed

Chapter 3: If I Could

Once class ended Sean and Cry walked out together. From the way the wind felt and the lack of warmth, Sean could tell the sun was setting. He turned to face where he assumed Cry was. "Is Felix coming to pick you up? I know Mark will be on his way, so I'll wait with you if you'd like."

Cry instinctively nodded his head but then realized his mistake soon after. He flushed and grabbed Sean's hand. Cry poked his friend's palm to spell 'yes' in the dots he was familiar with. Sean smiled a bit. He knew he was going to have to do most of the talking to prevent Cry from taking out paper or having to use his finger to poke, but he didn't really mind. The two were a curious pair of friends. One blind, the other mute. Both lacking a major factor in communicating with one another. Strange how things work out.

Sean began to talk about the game Mark was constantly describing lately while he walked with Cry. He knew the words he described were ones that could be seen by Cry, which made him a bit jealous. Cry, Mark, Felix - they were all gamers. They all could see the worlds and colors and people that Sean couldn't. He was jealous that Cry could see something Mark was so passionate about. But he didn't let that ruin his good nature. He continued to describe the game to Cry, who hummed in response to show he was listening. "Have you played the game before?" Sean received a hum as an answer. "Is it as pretty as Mark says it is?" Another hum.

Sean frowned a bit. He was blind his whole life; he knows no different. No matter how Mark describes things he just can't see it. Sean shook his head of the thoughts and grinned at Cry. "So how -" Something struck Sean at the back of his head. Cry made a confused noise. Sean hissed a bit and brought his hand to the back of his head. He felt something warm and fluid beneath his fingers. Cry yelped - what was left of his voice cracking - and Sean heard something clatter against the floor. The sound of something hard hitting pavement. "W-was that a rock?"

Cry whimpered. Sean didn't know where Cry had been hit, but he was absolutely livid. They could hit Sean all they wanted but Cry? There was no way in hell they could get away with that. "Where are they, Cry?" Sean hissed through clenched teeth. Cry made a confused noise in an attempt to say that he didn't know. "Come on out, you fuckers!" Sean heard his voice echo off the walls of the quad. If there were other students around he knew they would be staring at him like he was crazy.

There was a tug on Sean's bag and several noises that came from Cry. And then Sean heard a familiar voice, "What's going on?" Followed by what sounded like two pairs of feet jogging toward them. Sean cringed and turned around slowly. He knew Felix and Mark were expecting him to answer.

"Uh..." Sean rubbed his neck; a nervous habit he often did while concentrating. In a normal situation he could try to lie to Mark, but that wouldn't work. Felix was here. Sean couldn't just lie to Cry's boyfriend like that. "Uh, we kind of... uh... got stoned." Sean let out a nervous laugh and held up his hand; where blood stained his finger tips.

Mark and Felix began talking over each other at once. Sean heard Felix rush over to Cry. There were a bunch of Swedish words being jumbled with English ones that caused Cry to constantly make uncomfortable noises. Sean felt hands grab his shoulders which made him jump, but he soon realized it was Mark. "Where'd you get hit?" Mark asked softly. His voice was calm and everything Felix wasn't at the moment.

Sean sighed quietly and pointed at his head. He felt Mark move behind him to look. "It doesn't look that bad." Hearing Mark's voice practically whispering from behind him caused Sean to shiver. "We'll clean it up when we get home, alright?" Sean nodded, still slightly unnerved by the sound in Mark's voice. He's never heard that tone before. Was it sadness? Disappointment? He couldn't tell for sure.

The four dispersed - each pair going a separate way. Mark didn't say anything on the walk home. There wasn't any talk of the pretty game or what happened only minutes ago. Sean gripped onto his white cane until he felt his fingers turn cold. Having things be silent made him super uncomfortable. With one sense unavailable to him all he relied on were the other four. And if there was one he couldn't rely on it gave him a form of anxiety - like he was completely helpless.

The key turning in the lock made Sean sigh involuntarily. Maybe now Mark would start talking. Before Sean could set his white cane against the wall by the door, Mark grabbed his arm and started dragging him to the bathroom. Mark made Sean sit on the toilet seat and then Sean heard running water. Sean's mind tried to process what was going to happen but Mark had done the action before a thought was complete. A startled sound escaped Sean's lips as he felt something cold be pressed against the back of his head.

Sean took in a sharp breath when he felt Mark's hand on his chin. Mark turned Sean's head gently and when he released his hand Sean let go of the air he was holding. For some reason, Sean found himself trembling. "M-Mark?" Not even his voice came out steady. "Are you going to say anything? Y-you know how I feel about..."

"Sorry," Mark responded in that same soft voice. Sean's hands became even more unsteady. Not being able to sense Mark's emotion caused Sean to panic. Is this what a panic attack felt like? "I just don't understand why anyone would do this. If I would've gotten there sooner maybe you and Cry would be okay."

"Mark." Sean said his name almost like a warning.

"I feel like this is my fault."

Sean clenched his shaking hands. Tears began to form and he became angry. "Stop." Sean heard the change his voice took to keep from shouting at his friend. He felt the cool washcloth move away hesitantly. "This isn't your fault, Mark. If you want to play the if game then we'll play it. I-If I could see I would've known who attacked us - hell - maybe they wouldn't have thrown anything at all. If I could see everything would be easier. If I-"

"Alright I get it," Mark snapped. Sean felt his chest clench. "I'll try not to bother you." There was the sound of something wet slapping the counter and the floor squeaking beneath angered feet. Sean turned his head toward the doorway and let all the tears stain his face. All the while he continued to shake violently. 

A/N: If you find anything confusing I'll probably explain it further in the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed it!