Aware

eight

•ANNA•

I don't know what was worse; waking up with my eyes so puffy from crying last night or the pain that was lodged inside of me.

I knew this was coming. I wasn't dumb. I knew that this will happen to me, but I went here anyway.

I packed my clothes back into my suitcase and went in the bathroom to have a much-needed shower. Thinking that this was what I needed to calm my insides up. But then again I was wrong cause the moment the hot water touched my skin, my tears came falling down again mixing with the water.

What was I thinking? Why did I ever thought about me having a shot at Brad? The situation just got out of hand. joe admitted that he likes me! What was he even thinking, dropping something like that to my face?!

I decided that I can't take this any longer. I can't take staying at a hotel room that Brad paid for. I can't stay here. I finished taking a bath as fast as I can then fixed myself up. I'm gonna take the first trip back to Birmingham. I just have to leave.

Whilst I prepare my things and make sure I haven't forgotten anything, I decided to watch the television to have a raincheck. The last thing I need is to go home during a bad weather and I have always been afraid of it ever since I was a child.

The first thing that came up on the telly was Joe's face being interviewed by the media. He casually said;

We had to cancel today's signing event cause Brad wasn't feeling really well.

A few gasps escape from the crowd and a blonde reporter asks, "Will he be okay?"

I assure you that he will be. Again, we're really sorry. None of us wished for this to happen. The band extends their gratitude and their apologies for this sad turn of events. The band wanted to offer something for their fans who understand their situation. Here it is.

The screen went black and then there they was, all four of them sitting in front of an empty stage with the spotlight on them, especially on Brad. He was wearing a beanie and sunglasses. It felt weird seeing him wear those cause there wasn't any sun shining on him.

"LA, we're very sorry for canceling today's show. However, we can't leave without giving you something back for the love and support that you have given us. This song's for all of you."

I didn't even notice that I was on the verge of falling from the bed and that I was clinging on to the sheets too tightly. James started strumming his guitar and when Brad started singing, tears came streaming down my face again.

🎵 We just lay awake. But tell me now, is that just one big stupid mistake? Cause I can't get you off my mind. I'm drifting day to day, I just lay awake. No, I can't sleep.

No no no no. Please don't continue singing, Brad. It hurts so freaking much already. Looking at him sing about what he feels right now.

I know I can't listen any longer but my body can't seem to find the courage to turn the telly off, so I kept listening.

🎵 I close my eyes, and you are here with me tonight. In another world oh I know that you'll be my girl, and nothing will tear us apart. Another universe, the stars will light a way for just the two of us, and nothing will tear us apart.

After the chorus, Bradley stopped singing and let James and Connor take over his part. Is he crying? It's hard to tell with his shades on. I was too consumed by his appearance that I didn't really notice I was crying too.

Is love this hard? Do I really deserve this pain?

I have to put my shit together. So I turned the telly off and book myself a ticket back to Birmingham.