Teach Me How To Fly (A Koutaro Bokuto Story)

The Heart Never Lies

Three days passed by. Every day, I'd look out that window and see him sulking under that same old tree. Our tree.

It killed me to see Bokuto hurting like this, but I knew there wasn't much that I could do. I wasn't his friend like Akaashi was... I didn't even have the confidence to approach him. No matter how much I wished differently, that wasn't going to change that easy.

Staring out the window, I felt my heart aching as I looked down at the ace. Beside me, Akaashi glanced from Bokuto to me. "It hurts to see him like that, doesn't it?" he said in his usual emotionless tone. "So what's stopping you from doing something about it? Normally you can't resist trying to cheer someone up when they're feeling down."

All I could do was sigh. "You know I can't talk to him." I really wanted to do something, but I just couldn't.

"That's your head talking," he said, echoing words I'd once used on him before. "What's your heart saying?"

I smiled a little. "Using my own words against me?" The words were still effective though. My head might be saying that I couldn't, but my heart kept telling me that I needed to try. As usual, the two were on opposite sides. Maybe whatever Akaashi would say would actually put the two on the same side.

Akaashi gave me a light smile. "I believe you once said that the heart never lies. The head can create any lie that it wishes, but the heart is pure and incapable of lying." The setter looked me straight in the eye, saying the almost exact words that I'd used on him. "So whatever it is your heart is saying to do, that's what you should do right now. If you hurry, you should have enough time."

Before I knew it, I was walking towards Bokuto. Hearing me, he looked up for just a second before resting his head back on his knees. If he wasn't going to jump on me at the mere sight of me like he usually does, then he must have really been hurting.

My heart was beating pretty fast, but luckily I wasn't feeling as flustered as I used to. Guess being his pet owl for over a month really did have a plus to it. "Bokuto?" I asked, surprised that I didn't stutter.

At the sound of my voice, the third year's head snapped upward. He didn't speak, but he still stared at me. Did he not even realize it was me? I guess in his state, he was too depressed to even notice that I was back. Well, technically I never left, but you get the point.

Alright, you can do this Kisa, I mentally cheered myself on. However, I was already beginning to panic. "I..." What do I even say? Taking a deep breath, I decided to let my heart tell me what to say. "I heard about your owl. Akaashi told me what happened. He said that you loved her very much. You named her Kisa, right?"

I stopped and waited for some sign that he was listening to me. Bokuto still didn't say anything, but he nodded. "You..." My voice faltered for just a moment. Come on Kisa, you can do it! "You shouldn't be sad! She wouldn't want you to be sad. And..." I wanted to tell him the truth, that I was the owl that he'd cared so much about. But I couldn't exactly just come right out and say that, you know?

Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm my emotions a bit. That didn't work at all. "She's not going to come back to you!" It was cold of me to say it, but someone had to. However, Bokuto didn't want to hear that.

"You don't know that," he said, his voice sounding bitter, like it had when Akaashi had told him that I probably wouldn't come back.

The tone he used shook my confidence. What little courage I'd had was now beginning to slip away from me. "She's not coming back because she can't!" There goes my heart going crazy again like it used to. That's not a good sign. This isn't going how it's supposed to at all. "She can't come back because she never left! Just like I never left!"

Bokuto stood up quickly, making me jump back a bit. He looks really upset, like he wants to yell at me. That's not good at all. This isn't what was supposed to happen... When he spoke, his voice was angry and a bit cold, so different than the Bokuto I knew. "You don't know anything about her, so don't try to talk like you do!"

That did it. That single little outburst of his was enough to completely shatter what little confidence I'd had. I knew he probably didn't really mean it and that it was only his emotions getting the better of him, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. In fact, it hurt more than anything else I'd ever felt.

Tears formed in the corners of my eyes, but I tried to hold them back. I opened my mouth to speak, but what came out wasn't what I wanted to say. "Bokuto you idiot!" I half-shouted at him, my voice breaking and tears escaping.

The expression on his face changed almost instantly, but it was already too late. I'd already turned and began to run away, tears streaming down.