Ida

Third

Dear Elena,
I'm living the lie of life.
I'm tired of hearing of tragedy at work
And sending a police car to take care of it
And then wondering what the hell happened
Afterwords.
I'm tired of making two breakfasts
And sending a girl off to daycare
Because her father pointed a gun at the wrong person.
I'm tired of going to my mother's
And taking away her beer
And reminding her that dad's been dead for six years.
When he was alive, she couldn't stand to look at him
But now his name is the one she calls out
At midnight
When her bottle is empty
And I'm not around.
I miss you, El.
Even though I'm not supposed to
Because you don't miss me.
And because our last kiss wasn't sweet
Like our first
And because you've moved on
Like I should have months ago.
Love, Ida