Peter Parker the Mercenary

Team Practice

On the way to the training room, the fatigue that oozed from every muscle after my run with Cap finally faded and I was re-greeted by my almost constant companions.

{*groan* Whoa. Let's not do that again.}

What did you think Yellow? That I poisoned myself on purpose?

[I tried to warn you against listening to him. Remember life saving antidotes BEFORE tacos next time.]

Chill your shit White. It was a mistake sure, but you don't have to be a smug bitch about it.

The elevator doors open and Tony's already explaining the training exercise for the day.

It turns out team practice is just superpowered dodgeball. Shit. It's high school all over again. {Wimp.} [Nerd.] Wow. Not even my boxes respect me. {Love ya Petey! 💖} [sorry...] Whatever, It's not like anything I wouldn't say to myself.

I chuckle slightly at my almost pun and everyone's gaze snaps to me momentarily.

{Wow. Rude!} [yeah. It's totally weird that they'd stare at the lunatic giggling to himself.] I ignore them and try to not react again.

Cap and Tony are the team captains. Tony picks Natasha and Deadpool. Cap picks Thor and me. Hawkeye is still barricaded in his room and refuses to leave it while he's still pink. Bruce declined for obvious reasons. {Aww... We're not on the pretty boy and token female's team!} [They have names you objectifying fuck.] Boys, boys. You're both pretty. Now please shut the fuck up so I don't make a fool out of myself in front of the Avengers.

The game starts and Natasha and I rush the front line. Each of us immediately trying to peg the other in the face, but missing barely. Spidey-sense really comes in handy now. {Who cares about that! Did you see Wade's ass when he turned to get the ball!?} Yellow, did you even try to listen to me?!

I back to the back line as Cap. runs after the ball. Ironman throws another one, but Thor uses his hammer to create a cyclone, deflecting the ball back on to Tony. [The physics of that move was off...] Tony stalks off the court.

Thor is next, he distracted himself and got pegged by Natasha whilst boasting about his feats at the annual asgardian games. So it's down to me and Cap now. I shuffle closer to The Captain during a lull -all the balls are on our side- and ask for a game plan. He looks like he's about to issue one, but thinks better of it and asks, "What do you think we should do?"

{Oh my gods. THE Captain America wants OUR opinion!!! Ekkk! *fangirling squeaks*}

I KNOW right?!?!?!

[He's testing you. Trying to figure out our strengths.]

I can't fuck up.

I lean closer and whisper in his ear, "You rush Widow playing up brute force and I'll rush towards DP, but last minute we'll peg each other's target's alright?" He nods and I clear my throat. "Three... Two... One.... CHARGE!!!!!" We dash as one, knowing each other's top speeds from earlier and I manage to peg Natasha in the side of the head, fucking up her hair. However Cap gets Wade in the gut and while the hit breaks the ball, DP still manages to catch it. Natasha and Captain walk off the court. All I can think is 'That was too easy', before I hear her mention something to Cap about Hawkeye owing her a spar right now. She's gonna have fun with that one. I hope Tony gets video.... Who am I kidding. Of course he will.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts with a ringing of danger and an instinctual dive to the right as a ball whirs past my head and slams into the back wall. I snag it on the rebound and stare down Wade; waiting for him to make the first move.

{Hell yes! Just us and sexy now!} [Do we have to win?]

You guys are intolerable...

[Fuck off.]

"Let's go DP. Just like old times." I sneer with a cynical grin. They may not have allowed me my weapons, but this doesn't feel all that different to our last fight.

Wade smiles back and scoffs, "So you plan on kicking your own ass for me? Why thank you." He takes a shitty bow and I toss a ball half-heartedly to start the battle. He dodges easily when he could have caught it. It's clear he wants to win the real way against me. [I can respect that.]

He tosses two balls at the same time trying to trip me up, but I parkor up the wall and launch myself off into a perfect roll so I catch the balls on the second bounce and pop up using my momentum to chuck them back at him. His jaw drops for a moment before he realizes that he needs to move and drops into an over-the-top split.

Wade jokes, "You're just showing off."

{And you're noticing hotstuff! *meow*} [You're disgusting.] Agreed!

"Says the guy who just did a split that would make professional dancers weep." I shoot back, not quite as harshly as I had intended.

He smiles goofily through his mask before he turns to retrieve the ammo. He really does have a nice ass... Wait. What!?! {Told ya. You owe me five bucks.} [*sigh* Fuck.]

You bet on that?!?! You assholes!

The world snaps back into focus with an aggressive ring of Spidey-sense in my face. Suddenly three balls are flying for my face and I may or may not have let out an embarrassing squeak before dodging to the side and directly into the fourth ball that I hadn't noticed before. I barely have any time to react before it hits me in the face. Crap.

Jarvis loudly announces, "Black Widow, IronMan and Deadpool are the victors of round one."

Four rounds later and my team wins 3-2. Natasha blames Tony, but he refuses to believe it is his fault in the slightest. Instead spouting some crap about how Thor and Cap should never be on the same team again.

Thor just gave me a good-natured, but damn near bone shattering pat on the back. "You fought well today Man of Spiders! I should enjoy fighting alongside you again sometime."

Why are they all being so nice to me??? [To lull you into a false sense of security.] {Duh... They like you!} whatever... I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts. It's not like I can't escape if I need to...

Suddenly alarms start blaring through the building as JARVIS begins to detail the specifics of a swarm of Doombots in Central Park.

Tony snaps my attention from JARVIS by throwing my webshooters at me. "Suit up Spider!"

"What? No knives?" I stick my tongue out. "You let Wade have his katanas."

"Yeah, well I don't have to worry about him giving anyone a debilitating injury."

[Looks like we're on a leash.] {Spoilsport.} Whatever... I've fought with less.

Let's do this shit.

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Hey readers! It's your friendly neighborhood writer. Hope you enjoyed the update! See you in the next chapter!!!!!