Broken angel

Back to jail

After 5 years of living with Clare, I realized that each night the police used to knock on the door and talk to Clare about when will she be able to pay back her debts. At that time I knew, that Clare couldn't pay back her debts because she spent all her money and salary taking care of me. I knew she was going to get in trouble soon trouble, as well as, I missed seeing my sister and brother, so I decided to work as a maid in my mother's house so I'd be able to help Clare paying back her debts. My mother never realized that I was her daughter, she forgot they way I looked, as well as she had a daughter. I used to get bullied in my collage because of the death of my sister and because I worked as a maid. It killed  me a lot from inside, but I still worked all the night as I come back home. I could manage studying and working at the same time. But what I didn't expect is that, in one night, the police came and dragged Clare to the jail! I screamed out loud and tried telling the police not to take her away because I couldn't live with out her! But the police replied in a rude way saying "she has to pay back her debts or else she can never get out of jail". I spent my day crying! But didn't stop studying, didn't stop working so hard to pay her debts! Every day, after coming back from college, I get to my mother's house to work. I used to take 50 dollars a week. But that wasn't enough to pay her debts, neither to pay for my college, nor to pay for my essential requirements for living, but I promised I'd never stop working, to help Clare get out of jail, because I was the reason she sleeps alone in the jail, and the reason she is struggling hardly there! My mother used to hit me as I worked there because I used to spend the time with my sister not cleaning, but still I worked. One day I visited Clare in jail, and she looked too pale and skinny, so I decided to cook for her and send it to her in jail. Half of the money was spent for her food, my college, and my requirements for living. I studied hard and got a scholarship to study in France, but I refused to go, because I didn't want to loose my sisters and my job. But instead I worked a better job and got more money. I still lived in Clare's house and I got two roommates. They lived with me and helped me paying the debts and are called Emma and Megan. After 3 years of working, I finally got the amount of money needed to get Clare out of jail, so I went to the jail and told the police happily "get Clare out of the jail, I got the money for u" but the police kept quite for a minute and said, "Clare died today morning because she got so ill from the environment here" at that moment I couldn't bare it out anymore and started crying so hardly hitting the police and caused him some breaks in his body. Emma and Megan tried to calm me down but I couldn't stop screaming, and that lead to causing me to faint. They had to take me to the hospital, I lost a lot of blood because of self harming. This was all my fault! I was the reason she was sent to jail, and the reason she died there. I could here her sound in my heart beats, her warm arms on my shoulders, and mostly her hugs that kept me safe all these years! Emma and Megan stayed by me in this trouble, they took care of me. But at that time, I became addicted to taking drug injections as my mother. They didn't realize this, until one day they found out that I wasn't able to move, talk or even eat. They got me to the hospital and had blood tests for me and found out that, it would be a miracle if I lived. They asked the doctors about my condition and knew that I had take a huge amount of drugs in 2 days which caused failure in my kidneys and heart diseases. They came back home and searched for all the drugs and threw them away. But what they did t know is that I have many hidden drugs in my bathroom. They went to the doctor again and told him that I didn't feel any better evens by taking the medicines he wrote me. The doctor said that only way to stop having drugs is by getting married and having children. This may give her some responsibilities to forget about the drugs.