Thoughts

Broken

I put on this big facade only to make it seem like I'm alright. I do things to distract myself from the bad. I make others smile in an attempt to make myself smile. But some days my system fails, and I can't get it working again for a while. When I realize my fake smiles and stupid jokes no longer gain a joyful response, all my happiness fades away. So go ahead, ask me what's wrong, but don't be surprised when I respond with 'myself'. I was a prototype, an accident, I wasn't meant to continue as far as I have. My wiring is faulty, it's failed me many times, but sometimes I don't even have enough energy left to paste a smile upon my lips and act as though I'm fine. I guess I'm a fraud, I play around saying I have a stone wall against everything, but the truth is I'm as fragile as glass. Some days I hold strong against beatings but after wear and tear, I break and fall apart, and sometimes I can't find the small important parts of myself. I'm not depressed, I'm not in need of a doctor, I'm only broken. But don't you fear, after I've found all my pieces I'll put myself back together and you won't have to waist your time on worrying about me. After all, my only purpose is to make everyone else happy.