TOO GOOD.

|sixty four

without a second thought,

i picked up the half empty bottle of alcohol,

and the overfilled bottle of antidepressants.

i went into my bathroom and looked in the mirror.

i looked like a mess.

my hair was everywhere,

my jaw was still bruised by my father's fist,

and my neck was bruised from your lips.

i smiled at the bittersweet memory.

when my phone vibrated i pulled it out of my pocket,

and looked at the instagram notification.

it was you and him hanging out at your place laughing with the guys.

jungkook posted it six seconds ago.

as a nostalgic feeling took over,

i double clicked on the picture and opened the bottle to take my daily dose.

"two everyday, once a day. no more, or it could result in many things, including organ failure and death."

death sounds nice.

quiet and peaceful.

no hurting and no tragedy disguising itself as fake happiness.

i wish i could die.

maybe i should?

then again,

no.

i couldn't.

i had to be here.

because what if you change
your mind?

maybe you still want me?

with a hopeful heart,

i dialed your number and pressed call.

i know you'll answer,

you have to answer.

i mean,

you still care,

right?

"we're sorry, the person you have called is busy. leave a-"

i sighed,

running a hand through my hair.

i thought you cared,

but now,

i'm not so sure.