The Unknowns

Chapter 21

Red,

I try to spend as much time I can with Riley. I hear my mother cry sometimes and my father always tells her that they have to trust me. I know they love me and that they trust me but, they don't say it or show it. They show it to Riley but not me. It saddens me. I love them and I wished they could understand my need to be apart of this. It would be a lot easier if they would just love me and want to spend time with me before I go. I could leave in peace, without worrying about them. It is already hard on me, leaving them, the way they act does not help. I wished they were more like you. They don't comprehend. You care about me but, you understand I need to go. They don't. I like the way you see things. I like the way you let others live their lives even when you care about them. The way you encourage others to do the things they most believe in. Why is there no people like you out there? Life would be easier. I consider myself as rich because I have you. I also have my family and friends but you, you are the one who makes me thank god everyday. You are the one who makes me give money or food to the homeless. You are the one who makes me feel like a millionaire. There is nobody else. 

I don't know how to explain, the words just write themselves when I think about you. Every letter I write to you is easy to do because I just love writing to you. I might be intense but that is only because I care about you so much. If anything happens to you while I am gone, I will never forgive myself. When I think about when I leave, I am both sad and excited. Excited because I get to live my dream but sad because I will miss you. Leaving makes me  heartbroken. I am torn apart. I don't want to leave you and my family. At the same time, I do want to go. Why is life so complicated? 

What would you want to do on your last day alive? I know it is a strange question but, I am curious. 

I am touched that you want to make me the main character of your story. I am not sure that it will improve it but, I like being your hero. I promise to keep your story for me. I won't show it to anyone. It will be our secret. If you didn't already know, your secrets are safe with me. 

I think I am going to stop here for now because if I do continue, you would still be reading my letter two days later. 

El.