Pocket Pickers #projectwomanup

Stressed Out

C H A P T E R  5

"Who... the hell are you?"

The old man gave me a closed-lip smile. "I'm hoping you'll surprise me, Ms. Greggs. Please don't let me down."

"Surprise you? Surprise you? The only thing that will be surprising you is my fist!" I yelled indignantly, waving my hand in the air.

I could faintly hear Pierre slap his forehead in exasperation, but I ignored him. This was completely, ludicrous.

"Look, I demand to be let out!" I cried dramatically, glaring at Pierre.

The man precariously started walking down the spiral stairs, smiling at me.

"Unfortunatley Ms. Greggs, that won't be happening anytime soon. Now if you wouldn't mind, I'd like you to sit down so I can ask you a few questions."

Almost like a trance, I sat down without a second remark. I narrowed my eyes with whatever defiance was left inside of my mind. He didn't seem disturbed, in fact, the creep stopped next to me and sat down on the couch beside mine.

"I knew that this would be more pleasant," the man mildly exclaimed, extending out his hand. "I'm Ralph Turner, but Ralph will do." I could only muster an appalled stare.

What was I doing here? My throat felt dry and a killer migraine started pounding above my eyes.

"Uh, what, I'm-" I stuttered, looking around the room, as if the entire situation had just come crashing down on my bare shoulders. Maybe, because it did.

"I will explain," Ralph said patiently, eyeing Pierre. "As I can see, it seems like you've already met my son, Pierre?"

I nodded wordlessly. I looked at Pierre, hoping we were sharing a tacit agreement that this man was crazy. Or maybe I was. Maybe we both were...

"Well, I've brought you here because Pierre, my boy, has a... Problem." Pierre distastefully sniffed. "And I think you just might be his lucky charm."

I gasped. "Lucky charm?" I cried, moving up to the edge of the couch, "What do you fucking mean, lucky charm you psychonuerotic idio-"

"Patience, please, Dear Remi," Ralph looked at me sharply, "Let me finish." He quietly mumbled what seemed to be profanities under his breath. I smirked. I was getting to him. Annoyed, I slipped back into my comfortable position.

"He has a problem, like I was saying," He repeated himself, beckoning for Pierre to come closer.

"Pierre... is single," Ralph solemnly stated, patting his son's shoulder. My eyes widened. I would have laughed at Pierre's pink face if I wasn't so scared for what was to come.

"Have you ever... dated, Remi?" Ralph slowly asked. My eyes bulged out as I stared at him.

"No!" I took one look at Pierre's mocking glance and mentally slapped myself. "I-I mean, no, of course! I've dated plenty of guys!"

I was interrupted by a fit of deep, bellowing laughs. I shivered as my heart fluttered at Pierre's contorted face. 

"Oh shut up," I quipped, trying to hide my burning cheeks.

"Ms. Greggs, now I know I can cross off 'great liar' from my list of cons," Ralph said, smiling with his eyes. I looked back at him menacingly, and his smile quickly vanished into what seemed like an indifferent facade.

"How old are you Ms. Greggs?" He pressed on.

"21," I answered, fiddling with my fingers. "—Actually, today was my birthday." I stared down Pierre icily. To my joy, I saw a look of guilt flash in his eyes, but it quickly disappeared.