Ever feel like you want to go every direction you possibly can but life only seems to want to go one way. That is my life. No matter how much I would try it all seemed to go to shit. What can one expect of out life when you were born not being wanted.When your mother hated the sight of you but you could never understand why.
"Why mama" those are the words I would utter every time. She would laugh and say how much prettier I looked as the blood dripped from my forehead down to my cheek.
She would leave me alone for a couple of weeks until I would completely heal it isn't until now that i came to realize she would beat me till I was unrecognizable because I looked just like my poor father. With the loss of my father my mother drowned her misery in cheap booze with a nice side of cocaine. School and Nick were the only kind of shelter I had away from my mother and once I grew older I knew I had to get the hell out of there before she finally found the courage to kill me.
Luckily I had met Nick the love of my life. It's hilarious now to think I could find happiness with the likes of a guy like him. It took him 3 months after I moved in for him to find the balls to finally show me what a piece of shit he was . Oh and let me tell you he put on a great show for the past 4 years we were together till he showed me abusive Nick. The loving Nick, The nurturing Nick was only a facade to catch me in his spider web of lies and misforture. The first time he laid a hand on me he swore it would never happen again.
"Baby I'm sorry I don't know what came over me. I will never do it again don't leave me." You would think from all I had suffered I would know better WRONG. I stayed because I "Loved him" and yet he loved me so much it only took him a week to get over his apology . He would laugh in between the beatings, and have the nerve to ask me if that was how my mom use to hit me.
No matter how much I tried I couldn't escape him. He was like a rabid dog always catching my scent where ever I would disappear to and he loved the chase. Once he would catch me he would make me wish I wasn't born.
Yet somehow after everything that came my way I was able to survive through it all while finding my way to escape. One day Nick had made a mistake after coming home very drunk he left himself vulnerable. I only did what a sane women would, take all of his cash with the little I had and ran. The thought of killing him crossed mind but with his luck i new worse fate then death awaited him at least i hoped it did. What can i say Karma is a b... female dog... I don't regret getting on that bus and never looking back. I only hope that the road I end up next will not have signs pointing one way.
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HEAL A DAMAGED ROSE
WerewolfI have always one to believe we get back what we put in life but how is it possible that having an abusive mother can correlate to having an abusive man. What had i done in life to bring me to this point of insanity. It's funny how a man can emotio...
