HEAL A DAMAGED ROSE

Mental box

I quickly pushed myself off him. Looking deep into his eyes I had to ask him"What about you Marcel? What do you wish upon my family, on me?"

"I wont lie to you Rose, having you in my arms knowing what you are scares the shit out of me. I want to protect you, i want to love you but a part of me wants to hate you.  This might be all new to you but we are talking about a century of hate towards your blood line. The pain of my community runs deep, families were destroyed innocent lives were lost , my sisters life being one of them. Looking at you standing there brings back all the pain your line created."

"That is not fair Marcel!" I raised my voice at his words. "You can not blame me for the life my father decided he was going to live. I am not my father, like you I have lost I have suffered and all because of his actions. His blood does not make me him, his blood does not make me the person he was. Why do you hold me accountable for his decisions to fallow love and be with the one he wanted to be with. Was it selfish yes!!! Absolutely but if it wasn't for him i wouldn't be here. Your mate in the flesh, I hardly even know the man and you talk to me as if I speak for the Elite community! He shouldn't have left but it was his family who called upon the death of your people not me. Not him either, tell me if you knew you had me and you had all of the obstacles he had would you have left me or would you have done what he did! You forget I am half of what you are and half of what you hate. As my mate you have to accept both and if you cant it's best you reject me now. Either way I refuse to be the one you take your anger out on. I am done letting others use me as a rag doll for there mental trauma. Hate the ones who actually killed your people, seek revenge on the ones who decided it was best to kill you all off if that will make you feel better.But do not hate me because I'm related to a man who wanted his mate just like how your wolf calls out to me!" I hugged myself as the last words sank into the room.

Marcel stood up and began to walk  to the door. " I will come by later." he said as he walked out of the room. I cant lie my heart dropped. Loneliness began to crawl into my mind and swallowing me whole, I didn't expect him to leave I was hoping he would agree with me, begging he would understand but alas the scar had been re opened making him bleed all over again.  I understood why he felt the way he did but I was not at fault; I was only an infant at the time. 

I sat on the bed lacing my hands together. I was not about to sit here and cry over something I couldn't control. At least not anymore, all of my life I have been weak and as much as I wanted him in my life If he didn't want me in his life why would I force it. My heart ached at the thought but I swallowed it down. The ice walls were back up, I couldn't afford anymore cracks.

I got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom and began to run a shower. The water cascaded through my hair hitting my shoulders relaxing me instantly.

 I  closed my eyes as rinsed off the remaining shampoo in my hair then  it began. My head began to throb feeling as if it was going to explode. It was too much, to much I knelt on the floor biting my lips. I wouldn't scream. I wouldn't allow the pain to make me weak. The pain began to expand down to my neck, my arms and hands. I let out a whimper as it spread to my stomach, legs and feet. My whole body screamed in pain urging me to scream as if I allowed it to escape through my mouth it would make it all better. 

My resistance began to make my mental box expand. I could see it clearly through my closed eyes, I fought to keep it intact but I was weakened by the pain until it finally burst open making the glass around the shower shatter. The wave of power burst through the room, well there was no way Marcel wouldn't find out now was my last thought before all the lights in the room went out.