Imitasyon Jord

2

Andrea and I used to go to the same school for ten years. She switched schools this year, though. Somehow seeing her cry, kind of made my heart ache a bit. For a second there, I remembered the times she cried because of everything I've done that hurt her. Thinking of it, I probably made her childhood at school really miserable. I used to always make fun of her, laugh at her, once teared apart her books and I made her cry.. A lot. That didn't stop me though. I was best friends with the guy she loved. I would always make fun of her in front of him and made him realize that if he even thought about talking to her, his social life would be over.

It was like my brain was now trying to kill me because of my regrets. But then, there was this side of me that was telling me that she has definitely moved on, that this was ages ago, and that even at the end of last year she seemed happy. Plus, I couldn't be the reason to make her unhappy in the past. Also, all kids go through things like that and maybe she cried at school but then there were other times where she must have been over the moon.
Although, to be honest, I can't remember a time where she was having a lot of fun or laughing with a friend.

I looked at her but she didn't say a word. I could see some fear in her eyes. Don't even ask me how I was able to see that. I never do. It was like some sort of superpower, or like I was the new Sherlock Holmes who could understand people's emotions through their eyes. Wait.. Did he do that? Anyways, It was like her lips were sealed and her eyes were full of tears. If she had just blinked, tears would fall from her eyes. I had no idea what was wrong with her. And we were never actually talked so I had no idea what to say or what to do.

A part of me was like "screw her just go and figure out where the hell you are", and the other part of me was like "can't you see how much pain she's in? Even if it's not because of you or you were never friends with her, haven't you got a heart?"

Before I could figure out which part of me would win this time, although to be honest, I kind of new that the first one would definitely take over me, Andrea who had stood up when she had turned around and saw me, fell on the floor on her knees. She broke down completely and burst into tears. I have seen her cry a lot in the past but I don't ever recall seeing her this hurt. Not even when her crush told her that he didn't love her back. Not when she got a B on a test. Not even when her father died. Not when everyone would laugh at her and she would sit all alone. Never.

I looked down at her and didn't know what to do. I wasn't really hurt and seeing her cry didn't particularly affect me, but I had this feeling that she was in a lot of pain. It's true that people think that I don't have any emotions, at least not positive ones towards people, I don't get touched when I see people crying, but somehow something inside me told me that this girl needed someone to just stand by her.

Before I could do anything, I saw someone's shadow below one of the trees that was about fifty meters away from me. I walked towards the shadow leaving Andrea all alone. She must have thought I was a bit of a jerk, hasn't she? Well, that didn't really stop me.

As I was walking, I heard her talking to me. I couldn't remember her voice, maybe because I only heard her in class and I never really paid any attention in any of our classes. Also, maybe because the last time I had seen her was months ago.
-"Where are you going?" She said.
I turned around looking at her. She had stood up, stopped crying and had this really cute and innocent smile on her face. She didn't have these typical dimples but there were some sort of dimples a bit under her mouth, on both sides. I don't know if they have a particular name.

Jeez, what am I saying? Am I doing some sort of poetry about this girl? But really, her smile made me hold my breathe for a second there, and kind of made me smile a bit.

This smile that was still on my face, had turned into a laugh as I was responding. "There's this" I tried catching my breathe between my laughter, also I tried not to do this piggy laugh or this snore I do when I laugh, "shadow over there, I think there's some-someone"

She bursted into laughter and was laughing so hard actually. I had never seen her laugh this much, at least not with me. Her laugh was so innocent and I felt like there was this angel who was laughing right in front of me.

We both held our tummies whilst we were laughing and I think my eyes started tearing up from laughter.

This was just a perfect example about how people who seem sad and depressed aren't always crying and sad. There are times where they are actually happy and laughing. They can make others smile, intentionally or unintentionally.
Also, if a person saw Andrea once in their life, and it was this time, when she was laughing, or if they see her like 10 minutes in a day, these are just ten minutes in twenty four hours. You can't just assume that she's the happiest person because you saw her laughing. You have no idea what battle she was going through before you could see this gorgeous and happy smile of hers.

There's a quote that says:
~Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always. -Ian Maclaren

~Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. -Wendy Mass

Also, sometimes the person might be faking a smile or a laughter to hide their pain, to not cause drama, to not show their sadness, maybe because they thing no one would care, maybe because they don't feel comfortable sharing their sorrows and secrets with someone, or other various reasons.
Or maybe, they are just really happy at the moment. They are humans too. Yes, they might have been hurt, but can you imagine how happy they are to actually be able to laugh this loud despite all of their sadness?
So if you ever see a person crying, then see them laughing or dancing with a friend, and then see them again crying, just please don't tell them "oh but you were happy yesterday what happened". Also just don't say to a friend or even to yourself. Just don't.
You don't know what happened when you weren't with them. You don't know what was going on inside their heads. You don't know that they had just finished a battle against their mind and thoughts. You don't know who might have hurt them. You don't know what they might have remembered.

~You'd be amazed at the pain and tears a single smile hides. -Sherrilyn Kenyon