5. "Losing Power Hurts."

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5. "Losing Power Hurts."

Cas comes back when it's time to shove more of the demon cure into my bloodstream. This time, he's learned from his first mistake. After I get a needle full of blood, he leaves, preventing me from getting under his skin. I decide to not waste my breath and talk to myself.

Hour three: More blood. Cas is back long enough for the administration and then leaves before I can catch him.

Hour four: More blood. My inner struggle is becoming more evident now. I don't want to goad Cas anymore. I feel something...remorse, I think, for saying what I had about Claire, and Amelia Novak, and Charlie. I begin to wonder how I could let my brothers and Cas believe that I could control myself as a demon.

Hour five: More of the cure is forced into my arm. Cas looks about as weary as I'm beginning to feel. Any spunk I had early on in me is disappearing, like the more blood I take in, the less fight comes out of my mouth. On top of the blood, my old memories are resurfacing, reminding me that Avery is just a middle name to me. Not an alternate persona to my demon self.

Hour six: Cas injects me with more blood. He's got a tired rhythm going on: administer blood, then leave before I can torment him with words.

His eyes watch me, waiting for me to make a comment. But I don't. In fact, I've given up hours ago on trying to get under his skin. I feel defeated. I feel tired. The darkness in me has quieted itself, almost gone away entirely. I feel the change, even if Cas may not be able to see it.

"You're persistent, I will give you that," I pant, feeling the dull sting in my veins.

"We've still got two more doses to go," he tells me.

"No. N-no more."

"It took a while the last time. Too little dosage, you might revert back."

"Stop this."

"I'm not trusting you until I know you're cured."

He's smart, just like Sam had been about my being a demon.

I notice the change in me. Instead of seeing Cas's true form like I've been seeing, I see only his vessel, the very thing I saw the day I met him. I see how exhausted and ill he is. He's wasting away. The blood is my kryptonite, it seems.

"You don't care that I killed him," Cas mutters at the seventh hour. I groan, rolling my head back, wincing at the familiar pinch of the needle. "You wanted him dead."

"He was giving me sex. Why would I want to gank him?"

"When we faced off, you seemed rather annoyed with him."

"He was being a possessive prick." I cough, beginning to shiver.

"One more to go, and then we're almost finished."

"No—no more."

"You don't get a say in this." Cas reaches to smooth my hair down but stops halfway through. "This has to happen. You'll thank me later."

"I'm never going to thank you," I snarl through gritted teeth. "I'm never going to forgive you for this."

"Once you're back to normal, you'll see things differently. Losing power hurts. You accept the change after a while."

"You speak from experience?" My face twitches. The desire to maul Cas creeps through my veins again. How dare he taunt me like this? "I'll take my angel blade and shove it through your heart, Castiel."

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