A U T H O R ' S N O T E
This was originally a one-shot that I posted individually, but since this was an alternate ending to "Now That You're Back in my Life"... Enjoy!
"I'm sorry, Abi... He's gone..."
"I'm sorry for your loss,"
"Last week, Caleb Logan passed away due to a car crash. Caleb was driving home from baseball practice, when he was hit by a drunk driver. He immediately called his girlfriend, Abi Marx, and she rushed to the site. She rode in the ambulance with him to the hospital"
The memories flood back in my head as I typed the script for "Reign", the series I've been working on. I was writing the series finale, and I was not happy at all. My Labrador puppy, Stitch, barked at the door of my New York apartment, indicating that the mail was here. I got up from the small, white, desk to make Stitch calm down.
Bills
Bills
Bills
Something from Amanda.
Amanda had been one of my best friends since 5th grade. She lives in the same building as Ava and I. We live above Ava's fashion studio in different apartments. On Friday nights, we would make tye dye t shirts or hang out at Ava's and watch old Disney movies from when we were kids. Naturally, I still loved Frozen, and I still knew all the songs. Now, we don't do stuff like that anymore. Amanda is moving out of the building, so she's busy with that.
I ripped open the letter from Amanda. It was an invitation to her wedding. She never told me any of this... I thought. She was getting married to Brennan, Olympic Gold Medalist, Katie's brother. She wouldn't have met him without Caleb and I I thought. It's been 6 years since he died due to that drunk idiot that killed him. I hated that man.
Since then, I've learned to forgive him. I still have his apology letter framed next to a bunch of stuff that reminded me of Caleb. The baseball T Shirt that I stole, a home run baseball, some pictures of us, and the Baby Lips Lip Balm that I wore at his first game of the season that year. Just random stuff from him. I hadn't talked to his family since.
His mom. is probably mad at me... Though they were states away, Caleb called me first, then I called Katie, his mom. Caleb tried talking on the phone in the ambulance. I could hear his family cry as they said "I love you!". I broke down crying when that happened. I never wanted to loose Caleb in the first place.
I decided to call Ava.
"Hey," I told her.
"Did you get the invitation?" She asked
"Yeah,"
"Well, Amanda texted me asking if we could be bridesmaids."
"Okay then..."
"I think Sherri's the maid of honor, though,"
I thought for a minute.
"I don't know if I'll be able to..."
I didn't say that because Sherri would be the maid of honor. I was happy for Sherri. I said that because I didn't want to see anyone that was close to Caleb. Brennan was one of his best friends. Katie, his younger sister, was also close with Caleb's sister, Annie. Chances are that Caleb's family would be there. I just can't face them for a while.
"Amanda's going to be crushed... Why can't you go?"
"I'm kinda crunched with the season finale of 'Reign'. Plus practice for my Broadway debut is coming up, and I want to be ready to be busy."
"Abi... You finished that script, didn't you?"
I paused.
"I'm on the final draft... I'm sending the script to Rachel today."
Rachel is the producer for "Reign". I write the show, and sometimes direct
episodes.
"Then why can't you go?"
"I'm sure that Caleb's family is going to be there, and I just can't face them!" I told her.
Ava was silent. I could tell she didn't know what do say.
"They know it wasn't your fault-"
"I could've saved him, Ava! I could've been there! Why don't you get that?"
"It wasn't you. Caleb should've called an ambulance instead of you. He would've gotten help faster, but..."
"I know..."
"Anyway... I have to finish this skirt..."
"Bye..."
"Talk to Amanda, Maybe..." She said. "Bye..."
I walked back to the desk, and Stich followed. As I walked, I remembered a song that I liked as a kid.
The rain came pouring down
When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breath...
I think the song was by Taylor Swift- most songs I listened to back then were. I knew it wasn't "Welcome to New York", my favorite song back then. I typed the lyrics I remembered in Google. It pulled up a lyric video on YouTube. I clicked it, and as I listened I found pieces of the last six years.
"Did you hear she hasn't dated anyone since Caleb died?"
People Magazine Front Cover: "'She thinks she can Talk to Caleb: Sources say Abi has been to 7 mediums since the death of her boyfriend"
Back then, I couldn't go out in public forever. That's when I kept getting emails from counselors asking me to come in. I cracked under the stress, but then, I got support from Ava and Amanda. The tabloids didn't stop though.
People Magazine Front Cover: "She's Doing Better: Abi is almost done with rehab!"
Eventually, the public got of my back for a little bit, so I could miss Caleb in peace. I remember countless nights on my couch, crying while Ava and Amanda didn't know what it was like. Then Amanda would cry because that's the kind of emotional girl she is.
I never went to talk to any counselor. I never got therapy or anything. I just talked to Ava and Amanda. I did talk to Annie a few times, though. She would call me really late at night- usually around 11:00- and we would talk. Then her parents would hear, they would yell and I would hang up. Then I would cry myself to sleep thinking that it was my fault that Annie was getting in trouble and it was my fault that Caleb was dead in the first place. Then occasionally, Ava and Amanda would hear me and come up to talk. I would tell them I was fine, and they would stay because they never believed me when I said I was fine. It's been that way since the day we all met.
As I listened to the song, I wondered if I would be clean. I wondered if I would ever be okay again. I was okay though. It's been 6 long years, and I've gotten better. 6 years seems like forever, but it was the perfect amount of time to be clean.
I felt clean... Sort of.
Then I realized
"...Just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it..."
I picked up the phone and called Amanda.
"Guess who's going to be your bridesmaid?"
