I'm Dexter Grif, and I hate the lack of food at this new base.
Apparently, the rumors weren't rumors. They were actually true. Simmons the Kiss-Ass and I were relocated to this shitty couple of bases named "Rat's Nest". We barely get to go out for sun because the bases are built inside these weird cave formations. The worst part? We barely get any food around here! They're trying to starve us. I think it's Simmons. He's always saying that I'm getting too fat for my own good.
I'm not fat. I'm just big-boned.
On the upside, I was assigned to Red Team's commander, so there's that. I get to order my men around to do whatever I want, which is basically nothing. I get to sleep in, eat more in the Mess Hall, and ride around in the vehicles screaming "YOU SUCK BLUES!" for as long as possible. Life is great.
I just wish they'd send in more Oreos.
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The Life of a Grif
HumorHave you ever wondered what it was like to live as Red Army Private Dexter Grif? Well, now you can endure his comedically hellish experiences with journal entries from the laziest soldier in Blood Gulch. Follow along with how Grif survives his eccen...
