Broken Smiles

The Beginning

CURRENTLY EDITING
|Jessie|
I could feel the urge coursing through my body. I knew it wouldn't be too long before I couldn't resist it. I sigh and tried to pull all my strength together. Unfortunately, I failed once again. I got up from my bed to look for my blade.
I opened my sock draw, pushed back my socks, and went to grab my blade. "Oh god," I mumbled. There was nothing in the space that usually held my blade. I could feel my stomach drop.
I turned my room upside down looking for my blade. "WHERE IS IT!!" I finally yelled. I immediately clapped my hands on my mouth, knowing if I was too loud my mom would wake up. "Shit, shit, shit," I mumbled.
After 30 minutes of searching, I finally remembered. I left it in my makeup bag in the bathroom. I rushed to the bathroom and surely enough, there it was. "Thank God," I whispered with a sigh of relief.
Deep down I knew I didn't want to cut. I wanted to throw the blade as far out the window as I could. I knew if I did that though,  I'd be a wreck looking on the ground for it. I finally accepted the fact that there's no way I'd be getting out of it tonight. I brought the blade to my wrist and began cutting.
After I was satisfied with my work, I put the blade back in its hiding place and went to my bedroom. I thought about what I'd do if my parents ever found out. I mean, I've been cutting since I was in middle school. It'd break their hearts to know they were so clueless all these years. I hated having to think of what would happen. One of my friends had to visit a mental hospital and it scares me to think I might have to do the same someday. I choose to push those thoughts to the back of my mind for tonight. I laid in my bed and slowly drifted off to sleep.
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|Ayden|
"Ayden! I can't believe you!!"
"Sarah, calm down. Please, let's talk about this," My girlfriend Sarah had been yelling at me the past hour about some stupid comment under a picture I posted.
"Ayden, there's absolutely nothing to discuss."
"How? Sarah, how?! You won't even listen to my side of the story."
"I saw her comment under your picture!"
"I'm not cheating on you Sarah!... There has to be something else. This can't be the reason you're breaking up with me."
"You're right. Ayden, I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry."
"Okay. I understand. I hope you find someone you deserve. Bye Sarah."
I walked away from her with all the strength I could muster. I spent the past 4 years of my life with this girl. How could it end like this? What did I do to make her stop loving me? I didn't understand, but I don't think I could have turned around and ask even if I wanted to.
When I was back in my car I put my head on the wheel and cried. I cried for what seemed like forever. I was still crying when there was a knock on my window.
"Ayden?"
"Mariah? Is that you?" I met Mariah at the beginning of high school, and we've been close ever since. She's so short I'm surprised she saw me in my big truck.
"Yes, you've been sitting out here a while and you're obviously crying. Let's go for a walk."
I pulled the keys out of the ignition and got out of my car. I must have been crying for a while because it's dark outside now.
"What's got you down?" Mariahs big brown eyes look at me with sympathy.
"It's Sarah. She said she didn't love me anymore." I can't believe I actually said the words without choking.
"I'm sorry, Ayden." I take a second to look at Mariah. All of her acne is gone, she cut her hair to about her shoulder, and I think she grew a few inches. How long has it been since I've talked to her?
"I try to remind myself it's just highschool. There has to be someone out there for me, you know?" she nods.
"I know what you mean Ayden. You have to try to stay strong, even though it hurts." I nodded at that, and the rest of our walk was silent.
"Do you need a ride home?"
"Oh no, thanks though."
"Have a nice night Mariah."
She smiled, "You too Ayden."
I drove home, and crawled into bed. I spent at least an hour thinking about what happened. My mind still won't accept the fact that we really broke up. My sheets felt like they were freshly washed. I wish I knew what I could have done differently to make her stay. "A goods night rest is what I really need to feel better," I told myself as I drifted off to sleep.
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authors note: so this is my first book! the first chapter is kind of everywhere, but I do have a plan for this book. thanks for reading(: