A love that never alters

Chap 4 : Fate Brought us together, again

It was night by the time he had the chance to sneak out. The snow has been falling softly non-stop ever since he arrived at the park. Staring through the car's tinted window, Kikwang sat silently, deeply in thought. It's hard to believe that it has been a year since he was here at this very park, and it's becoming increasingly difficult when so many memories were already bouncing about his mind with the thought. It seemed like it was only yesterday, he sighed.

"I miss you so much." he whispered, as he toyed with the pendant hanging on his neck, his head resting against the seat. Rubbing his thumb over the small cat-like ornament attached to his necklace, he chuckled. I bet she's sucking her thumbs in her sleep right now, he thought of her as he stared at it.

Hyosung's images were always stuck in his head, whatever he did and wherever he went to. He always caught himself singing or dancing to their Shy Boy song when he was alone, the song that captured his heart to her. And whenever he saw a kitten, his thought will fly to her. Kittee, he would call her sometimes. He'd always tease her that her eyes disappeared if she smiles and that she looked like alien in which he'd received multiple punches from her. That pabo. Rubbing his shoulder, he remembered how hard she could punch because bruises would always appear whenever she did that.

Running a hand through his hair, he sighed heavily. How he had missed her over the year, it sometimes drove him to the brink of insanity. A prick of deep sadness washed over him as his mind flew back to how things ended between them, at this very park. He knew he had wounded her badly, he could see it in her eyes when he said those goodbyes. Witnessing her shocked faced, which she quickly concealed then, it hurt him so badly that she was trying to be strong ... when all he ever wanted was for her to hug him and tell him not to leave her, because he knew he'd crumbled and agree. But she didn't. She let him go, and he did.

And his world hadn't be the same ever since, and it changed him. The first two months were hell for him. He wasn't the dorky cheerful Kikwang like he used to, which he concealed it in front of the camera and fans for his group sake. But behind the scene, he completely lost himself. It was quickly noticed by Doojoon-hyung, and he tried his best to figure him out but to no avail. He was helpless, and went against his better judgement.

He started to pick up drinking and smoking habits, which infuriated the rest of the boys, but he just snubbed them. He'd be clubbing all night long instead of going for rehearsals, and came back drunk. Countless of fights broke between him and Doojoon especially, who worried about him the most, as he tried to console him to drop the bad habits he was developing. I was in such a big mess, he thought. It came to the point where they almost beat each other up, was when Doojoon had the final straw.

Doojoon requested for the Beast boys to have a private two days emergency break from their schedules, and went to a private secluded place without anyone else tagging along besides them. There, they forced Kikwang to confide to them what made him change to this degree. He wasn't cooperating at first, still concealing his sadness by being stubborn. But after constant reassurance and consolation from them, he couldn't help but felt sorry for his members. Even with his screwed self, they still did care for him like they always would. Breaking up into tears, the wall he had built for the past two months crumbled.

Hours of confession and bro-mancing (hehe, sorry had to add in there!), he felt like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulder. He didn't know what took him so long to confess it to them, but he was sure glad he did and so was them. They slowly helped him to regain his old self, the dorky cheerful Kwangie, back into his life. The incident also helped to strengthen the bond between them, and they vowed to not keep their troubles from each other.

The two days break really did help him to finally break free from all the bad habits he picked up during his sober state. Almost all though, as he still couldn't resist from smoking every once and then, and he still did. It seemed to have this calming effect on him whenever he has a puff, and he liked it. Although Doojoon did warn him heavily about it, so Kikwang promised him he'll stop when the time comes. The time obviously wasn't now, he smirked at the thought of Doojoon's distress face popped into his mind.

A sudden urge of the need to smoke broke his wandering minds to the present, so he reached for the cigarette box and was ready to get out of the car when he saw a person not far from where he parked getting nearer. He quickly got back into his car, he wasn't prepared to be recognized. Not today.

"Ah! Can't you walk faster?" He stared at the incoming person through his tinted window, slightly chattering from the cold just now. He waited for that woman, recognized by the shape of the body, to walk past his car but was frustrated when she stopped not far from it. "Of all the places, you have to stop there?! Get the heck away from here, ahjumma!" He almost yelled.

Clad with thick clothing from top to bottom, she covered her head with hoodies. Kikwang's heart skipped a beat at the sight of the pink coloured mufflers that was concealing half of her face. That muffler. "It couldn't be ... Could it?" putting his face closer to the window, he squinted his eyes to get a better view, "Calm down, it might be someone else..." He thought, trying to convince himself that ... that person isn't who he thought she was.

As she was standing under the lamp post, the light shone on her, giving him more opportunity to scrutinize her. The lady suddenly pulled down her mufflers, and as if she could feel he was staring, she looked directly into his eyes, or so he thought since she couldn't see him with the heavily tinted window.

H-Hyosung ...?