Fading

Life Outside Tomorrow

Dear Dad,
Its been 1,462 days. Do you ever get tired of me counting the days? Sometimes i write it without even thinking, almost like im programed. Allen says i probably have OCD because im always counting things like my steps. Im sure if i knew when you were coming back id be counting down the days until then but you wont even write me a letter. Let alone get on a plane or in a car to come see me. I wonder of you get tired of my letters coming every week or if they even get to where ever you are. For all i know you dont take the time to read them. Last night i got to hangout with the gang again like most days as you know. Its now 3 days into winter break and i still dont know what to get auntie for Christmas or what to tell Ember when santa doesnt grant her wish. Any ideas? I have the day off today because Ember has chemotherapy so im going to end this letter short.
I love you dad.

I folded the letter neatly before tucking it into its white envelope and walking out putting it in the little mail box. Only two letters were in there today and yesterdays which means Auntie remembered to mail them like always. She was standing in the kitchen cooking eggs and bacon "Dont you think you should stop writing your father?" Auntie said.

"Its a no everytime you ask so why dont you just stop asking me? Ill stop when im ready to.I promise." It was almost like she was stuck on a loop. Id get up, shed be making eggs and bacon, then shed ask me that same question in different ways. Auntie thinks its unhealthy for me to be writing all the time to a ghost who never answers. Apparently it would give me closure to stop writing him but i think the only way to get closure is a letter from him.

"Okay. I just want whats best for you" she said stirring the eggs slowly around the pot as she made eye contact with me. It was almost like shes made eggs so many times she didnt have to look.

I looked to my phone to check the time "I won't be back till late so dont wait up." I said getting up and walking out with no further explanation.

Its funny how all i have to do to get disapproving looks is walk down the street. My head phones were in blasting music but other than that i looked pretty normal. Which is why i dont understand society. People make it seem wrong to wear the clothes you like or listen to the music you enjoy listening to. I was wearing black skinny jeans, a nirvana tank top and black convers. Why couldnt that be normal? Why cant we just walk down the street and smile at one another in stead of judging each other.

I walked past the hospital on the way to Alexs house. Rolling. Tumbling. As loud cars scurried down the busy streets i kicked a small rock out in front of me. By accident it hit a car that was pulling up to Tomorrow leaving a scratch. "Im so sorry..."

A large man got out of the vehicle looking at me angrily "Watch where your kicking your stupid little pebbles girl" he said towering over me making it seem like i was a ant compared to him. "Youll pay for getting that scratched removed"

Thats when the back door opened revealing a boy my age. He was quiet handsome with his brown hair and green eyes. It was almost like his jaw line could cut someone it was so sharp and perfect "Dad just let her go it was a accident."
His eyes caught mine and he looked really formilar but i couldnt tell from where. Before i could figure out who he was i got a phone call.

"Im really sorry sir but i have to go." I hurried away so that the man could have no objections to me leaving or getting away without paying for the scratch.

I answered my phone. It was Alex.

WHERE ARE YOU IM BORED!

Sorry im just passing the hospital ill be there in a sec.

Why did you walk?

Because i neeeded to clear my head and get the fresh air. Im hanging up on you.